Two and a Half Men

(2003)

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Sezonul 1

Sezon 1, episod 0: Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot
Sezon 1, episod 1: Pilot
Sezon 1, episod 2: Big Flappy Bastards
Sezon 1, episod 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Sezon 1, episod 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Sezon 1, episod 5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Sezon 1, episod 6: Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Sezon 1, episod 7: If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake
Sezon 1, episod 8: Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Sezon 1, episod 9: Phase One, Complete
Sezon 1, episod 10: Merry Thanksgiving
Sezon 1, episod 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Sezon 1, episod 12: Camel Filters and Pheremones
Sezon 1, episod 13: Sarah Like Puny Alan
Sezon 1, episod 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas
Sezon 1, episod 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Sezon 1, episod 16: That Was Saliva, Alan
Sezon 1, episod 17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Sezon 1, episod 18: An Old Flame with a New Wick
Sezon 1, episod 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Sezon 1, episod 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Sezon 1, episod 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing
Sezon 1, episod 22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Sezon 1, episod 23: Just Like Buffalo
Sezon 1, episod 24: Can You Feel My Finger

Sezonul 2

Sezon 2, episod 1: Back Off Mary Poppins
Sezon 2, episod 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Sezon 2, episod 3: A Bag Full of Jawea
Sezon 2, episod 4: Go Get Mommy's Bra
Sezon 2, episod 5: Bad News from the Clinic
Sezon 2, episod 6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Sezon 2, episod 7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Sezon 2, episod 8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Sezon 2, episod 9: Yes, Monsignor
Sezon 2, episod 10: The Salmon Under My Sweater
Sezon 2, episod 11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Sezon 2, episod 12: A Lung Full of Alan
Sezon 2, episod 13: Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
Sezon 2, episod 14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Sezon 2, episod 15: Smell the Umbrella Stand
Sezon 2, episod 16: Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Sezon 2, episod 17: Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
Sezon 2, episod 18: It Was Mame, Mom
Sezon 2, episod 19: A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Sezon 2, episod 20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Sezon 2, episod 21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Sezon 2, episod 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Sezon 2, episod 23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Sezon 2, episod 24: Does This Smell Funny to You

Sezonul 3

Sezon 3, episod 1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Sezon 3, episod 2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Sezon 3, episod 3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Sezon 3, episod 4: Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Sezon 3, episod 5: We Called It Mr. Pinky
Sezon 3, episod 6: Hi, Mr. Horned One
Sezon 3, episod 7: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Sezon 3, episod 8: That Voodoo That I Do Do
Sezon 3, episod 9: Madame and Her Special Friend
Sezon 3, episod 10: Something Salted and Twisted
Sezon 3, episod 11: Santa's Village of the Damned
Sezon 3, episod 12: That Special Tug
Sezon 3, episod 13: Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Sezon 3, episod 14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Sezon 3, episod 15: My Tongue Is Meat
Sezon 3, episod 16: Ergo, the Booty Call
Sezon 3, episod 17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Sezon 3, episod 18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Sezon 3, episod 19: Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Sezon 3, episod 20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Sezon 3, episod 21: And the Plot Moistens
Sezon 3, episod 22: Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Sezon 3, episod 23: Arguments for the Quickie
Sezon 3, episod 24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

Sezonul 4

Sezon 4, episod 1: Working for Caligula
Sezon 4, episod 2: Who's Vod Kanockers
Sezon 4, episod 3: The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Sezon 4, episod 4: A Pot Smoking Monkey
Sezon 4, episod 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Sezon 4, episod 6: Apologies for the Frivolity
Sezon 4, episod 7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Sezon 4, episod 8: Release the Dogs
Sezon 4, episod 9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Sezon 4, episod 10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Sezon 4, episod 11: Walnuts and Demerol
Sezon 4, episod 12: Castrating Sheep in Montana
Sezon 4, episod 13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Sezon 4, episod 14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Sezon 4, episod 15: My Damn Stalker
Sezon 4, episod 16: Young People Have Phlegm Too
Sezon 4, episod 17: I Merely Slept with a Commie
Sezon 4, episod 18: It Never Rains in Hooterville
Sezon 4, episod 19: Smooth as a Ken Doll
Sezon 4, episod 20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Sezon 4, episod 21: Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Sezon 4, episod 22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Sezon 4, episod 23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Sezon 4, episod 24: Prostitutes and Gelato

Sezonul 5

Sezon 5, episod 1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Sezon 5, episod 2: Media Room Slash Dungeon
Sezon 5, episod 3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Sezon 5, episod 4: City of Great Racks
Sezon 5, episod 5: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Sezon 5, episod 6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Sezon 5, episod 7: The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Sezon 5, episod 8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Sezon 5, episod 9: Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Sezon 5, episod 10: Kinda Like Necrophilia
Sezon 5, episod 11: Meander to Your Dander
Sezon 5, episod 12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Sezon 5, episod 13: The Soil is Moist
Sezon 5, episod 14: Winky-Dink Time
Sezon 5, episod 15: Rough Night in Hump Junction
Sezon 5, episod 16: Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Sezon 5, episod 17: Fish in a Drawer
Sezon 5, episod 18: If My Hole Could Talk
Sezon 5, episod 19: Waiting for the Right Snapper

Sezonul 6

Sezon 6, episod 1: Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Sezon 6, episod 2: Pie Hole, Herb
Sezon 6, episod 3: Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Sezon 6, episod 4: The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Sezon 6, episod 5: A Jock Strap in Hell
Sezon 6, episod 6: It's Always Nazi Week
Sezon 6, episod 7: Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Sezon 6, episod 8: Pinocchio's Mouth
Sezon 6, episod 9: The Mooch at the Boo
Sezon 6, episod 10: He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Sezon 6, episod 11: The Devil's Lube
Sezon 6, episod 12: Thank God for Scoliosis
Sezon 6, episod 13: I Think You Offended Don
Sezon 6, episod 14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Sezon 6, episod 15: I'd Like to Start with the Cat
Sezon 6, episod 16: She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Sezon 6, episod 17: The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Sezon 6, episod 18: My Son's Enormous Head
Sezon 6, episod 19: The Two Finger Rule
Sezon 6, episod 20: Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
Sezon 6, episod 21: Above Exalted Cyclops
Sezon 6, episod 22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Sezon 6, episod 23: Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Sezon 6, episod 24: Baseball Was Better with Steroids

Sezonul 7

Sezon 7, episod 1: 818-jklpuzo
Sezon 7, episod 2: Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Sezon 7, episod 3: Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Sezon 7, episod 4: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Sezon 7, episod 5: For the Sake of the Child
Sezon 7, episod 6: Give Me Your Thumb
Sezon 7, episod 7: Untainted by Filth
Sezon 7, episod 8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Sezon 7, episod 9: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Sezon 7, episod 10: That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Sezon 7, episod 11: Warning, It's Dirty
Sezon 7, episod 12: Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Sezon 7, episod 13: Yay, No Polyps
Sezon 7, episod 14: Crude and Uncalled For
Sezon 7, episod 15: Aye, Aye, Captain
Sezon 7, episod 16: Tinkle Like a Princess
Sezon 7, episod 17: I Found Your Moustache
Sezon 7, episod 18: Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Sezon 7, episod 19: Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave
Sezon 7, episod 20: I Called Him Magoo
Sezon 7, episod 21: Gumby with a Pokey
Sezon 7, episod 22: This Is Not Gonna End Well

Sezonul 8

Sezon 8, episod 1: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Sezon 8, episod 2: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Sezon 8, episod 3: A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Sezon 8, episod 4: Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Sezon 8, episod 5: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Sezon 8, episod 6: Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Sezon 8, episod 7: The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Sezon 8, episod 8: Springtime on a Stick
Sezon 8, episod 9: A Good Time in Central Africa
Sezon 8, episod 10: Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Sezon 8, episod 11: Dead from the Waist Down
Sezon 8, episod 12: Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Sezon 8, episod 13: Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Sezon 8, episod 14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Sezon 8, episod 15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Sezon 8, episod 16: That Darn Priest

Sezonul 9

Sezon 9, episod 1: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Sezon 9, episod 2: People Who Love Peepholes
Sezon 9, episod 3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Sezon 9, episod 4: Nine Magic Fingers
Sezon 9, episod 5: A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
Sezon 9, episod 6: The Squat and the Hover
Sezon 9, episod 7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Sezon 9, episod 8: Thank You for the Intercourse
Sezon 9, episod 9: Frodo's Headshots
Sezon 9, episod 10: A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Sezon 9, episod 11: What a Lovely Landing Strip
Sezon 9, episod 12: One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Sezon 9, episod 13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Sezon 9, episod 14: A Possum on Chemo
Sezon 9, episod 15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Sezon 9, episod 16: Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Sezon 9, episod 17: Not in My Mouth!
Sezon 9, episod 18: The War Against Gingivitis
Sezon 9, episod 19: Palmdale, Ech
Sezon 9, episod 20: Grandma's Pie
Sezon 9, episod 21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
Sezon 9, episod 22: Why We Gave Up Women
Sezon 9, episod 23: The Straw in My Donut Hole
Sezon 9, episod 24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

Sezonul 10

Sezon 10, episod 1: I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Sezon 10, episod 2: A Big Bag of Dog
Sezon 10, episod 3: Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Sezon 10, episod 4: You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
Sezon 10, episod 5: That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Sezon 10, episod 6: Ferrets, Attack!
Sezon 10, episod 7: Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Sezon 10, episod 8: Something My Gynecologist Said
Sezon 10, episod 9: I Scream When I Pee
Sezon 10, episod 10: One Nut Johnson
Sezon 10, episod 11: Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Sezon 10, episod 12: Welcome to Alancrest
Sezon 10, episod 13: Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Sezon 10, episod 14: Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Sezon 10, episod 15: Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Sezon 10, episod 16: Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Sezon 10, episod 17: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Sezon 10, episod 18: The 9:04 from Pemberton
Sezon 10, episod 19: Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Sezon 10, episod 20: Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Sezon 10, episod 21: Another Night with Neil Diamond
Sezon 10, episod 22: My Bodacious Vidalia
Sezon 10, episod 23: Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

Sezonul 11

Sezon 11, episod 1: Nangnangnangnang
Sezon 11, episod 2: I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Sezon 11, episod 3: This Unblessed Biscuit
Sezon 11, episod 4: Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Sezon 11, episod 5: Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Sezon 11, episod 6: Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Sezon 11, episod 7: Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Sezon 11, episod 8: Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Sezon 11, episod 9: Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Sezon 11, episod 10: On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Sezon 11, episod 11: Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Sezon 11, episod 12: Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Sezon 11, episod 13: Bite Me, Supreme Court
Sezon 11, episod 14: Three Fingers of CrÃ¨me de Menthe
Sezon 11, episod 15: Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Sezon 11, episod 16: How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Sezon 11, episod 17: Welcome Home, Jake
Sezon 11, episod 18: West Side Story
Sezon 11, episod 19: Lan mao shi zai wuding shang
Sezon 11, episod 20: Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Sezon 11, episod 21: Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Sezon 11, episod 22: Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

Sezonul 12

Sezon 12, episod 1: The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Sezon 12, episod 2: A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Sezon 12, episod 3: Glamping in a Yurt
Sezon 12, episod 4: Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Sezon 12, episod 5: Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Sezon 12, episod 6: Alan Shot a Little Girl
Sezon 12, episod 7: Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Sezon 12, episod 8: Family, BublÃ©, Deep-Fried Turkey
Sezon 12, episod 9: Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Sezon 12, episod 10: Here I Come, Pants!
Sezon 12, episod 11: For Whom the Booty Calls
Sezon 12, episod 12: A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Sezon 12, episod 13: Boompa Loved His Hookers
Sezon 12, episod 14: Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Sezon 12, episod 15: Of Course He's Dead: Part 1 & 2
Sezon 12, episod 16: Of Course He's Dead: Part 2