[Pitbull]

GAGHE LA CORROMPUE

- aka -

THE SECRET OF LE MARQUIS CURAKE

(a very obscene novel)


Characters:

Gaghe La Corrompue
Critza Schyzophrenes
Schopenhauer Vomitatu
Konopides Kapabilu
Le Marquis Curake
Pluhmah
Count Jupiter Receptoru

plus:

Vasile Bratza
Quakeropoll
(husband and wife)
Rooseveltesky
Prickwall MacAcCuntant
(man and wife)


Motto:
Through eons, over impotent bridges,
The mobilités infect is...!
But no one, in world entire, never nowhere didn't
Have interfacial galoshes
More fiercely than the pointy-tufty
Technician...!
...!



Word fore:

Gaghe la Corrompue is valiant and heroic. But this is not enough. Nuthin in the world is a more forever-eternal problem than the horrifying anegdotes whose synthesis is compounded by the very obscene novel see here. In its lines you will learn the key of the terrible enigma of Gaghe's sex, you will discover the secret of Le Marquis Curake, and why is infect the mobilités.



Gaghe la Corrompue

aka

The Secret of Le Marquis Curake

-!- a very obscene novel -!-

Now then, course you readeth the piece of master "Die Barricadessen", aka "The Cheater Sits Yo-There", at which’s finnish (as for "terminnation", not as for "Finlanndese") Madame Vasile Bratza marries Mister Quakeropoll - cause Rulu aka Missippip was dead. And then... them two departed into a wedding voyage together with the couple Churchillovitch-Rooseveltesky, the MacAcCuntant spouses. Now then, fierce a lot mishaps mishappened to them four in their honey trip, but most of any in the cafeteria "Six Fractured Gutworms", where they adjourned.
And then... them as soon as entered frapped them the décor's perversity, cause in the walls all and ceiling entire was stuck mobilités which had their phillament broken, so they was looking tragically. And, on a pedestal tailored from very-very juicy hamstrigs, sang and hopped solemnly as if driven by the devils the pholk music group "Critza Schyzophrenes", cause they were employed by the cafeteria owneressman, Gaghe, who one didn't know if he was a gurl of a boy, cause he was corrupted once by a dude that one didn't know if he was obsessed sexually, or homo (again sexually), so one drew the sorts with by tossing the coin (not a "coin-coin" as the duck says), and it turned out that him dude was obsessed, so then in consequence Gaghe is a gurl, cause the coin (not a "coin-coin" as the duck says) was tricky, intentionally that for to turn our that Gaghe is a gurl, that for to be able to marry with her Le Marquis Curake - cause Le Marquis Curake was in love and loved Gaghe, and was dying dead of pissoffing that he's a boy and they couldn't togetherize, so he arranged the intrigue with the obsessed one and the coin (not a "coin-coin" as the duck says), that for to turn out that Gaghe is a gurl and be able to take 'er.
Now then, saith Gaghe la Corrompue towards the newcomers:
"Kissy-kissy, handsome kiddies!"
And then... replayeth Quakeropoll addressing Gaghe la Corrompue:
"Attagurl, comrade, us we are hungry!"
"Why, stay kewl!" jumped Gaghe and, worrisomely over-extremely excited, flapped her wingies to the kitchen from were came she with four plates nicely overflowing of cookies with aggressed ballbearings (as for "aggressory") cause this was the specialty of the house.
And then... the "Critza Schyzophrenes" group dedicated to the newcomers a music song entitled "Comrade Marquis don't f**k with the people!" cause Critza Schyzophrenes had revolutionarized himself against Le Marquis, who had a bunch of assholes pro-created by his own self, his galfriend Pluhmah and her lover, Count Jupiter Receptoru.
Now then, Gaghe la Corrompue, spitefully bawling, related to the young and freshly married spouses that is our friends the intrigue conceived by the assholes bunch of Le Marquis, that precisely that evening was to come and propose to Gaghe, so as such Vasile with ‘er hubby and Rooseveltesky with ‘er hubby slammed their fist on the table and nervouselly yelled that they doesn't admit such crap.
And then... entered into the cafeteria the lodger of Gaghe la Corrompue, that his name was Konopides Kapabilu and he was sober very much. He said:
"Bonsoir to everybody!"
And, perseverrently, sat down at a table, deepening himself into a nostalgic contemplation of the mobilités that, stuck into the walls all, was infect, as for this Gaghe la Corrompue informed our pals:
"He's v. v. fruitcake"
Now then, Quakeropoll asked Critza Schyzophrenes to sing again an itty bitty the exorbitant chanson of his, but the megastar communicated to him that he didn't feel like momentarily, cause he was indisposated by the torturing pain of his employer, Gaghe.
And then... came strange noises from outside, and they all were convinced that cometh the bunch of c*nts of Le Marquis Curake, and so it was, cause Le Marquis Curake penetrated amused into the cafeteria in nightie and arrestated Gaghe la Corrompue, under the offensated looks of the "Critza Schyzophrenes" group, but Le Marquis detained the political leadershit, so that the people in the cafeteria didn't dare to protest.
Now then, Gaghe la Corrompue taken being, Vasile suggested hotly and hornily:
"Yo bros, but let's not us let our chum in those infects' claws!" so that they all, in a one and single unison like one, soulfully cheered:
"Yeah they shoulda get a life!"
And then... Konopides Kapabilu incited the masses to fight with his phrase full up to the over-ears with ardor and sobriety:
"Boo Le stinking Marquis!!!" and gee how revolted were at that moment the ones in the cafeteria "Six Fracturated Gutworms"! Oh!
Now then, not after too late, the guys becalmed, but themselves, being over possibelly upset by the happened fact, didn't remark that Konopides Kapabilu had one eye bigger, fact that stuck in the eye, so then, they all, none of them was perspi-cacious.
And then... a road-weary voyager made irruption and interruption, interrupting and irrupting them; this one was Mister Schopenhauer Vomitatu, who totally unacquainted, made their acquaintance glad to acquaint them, unacquainting the situation, cause himself didn't know absolutely at all that all of them being chagrined they didn't quite feel engladdeningly, but that's it folks no choice.
Now then, it's right that none would have suspected if Mister Schopenhauer Vomitatu ai or ain't a bastard, but he, after listening with a lot of very much attention, that Prickwall MacAcCuntant exposed to him the deployed drama, proved how intelligent is he, raising a fantastically serious problem, from all points of view, without expection: that for to make the intrigue, Le Marquis Curake needed an accomplice, and that accomplice actuallimently is founded among them in the cookyteria, so then they is not all good boys cause one of them is inherently a criminal!
And then... all the suspicions felled over Konopides Kapabilu, who Schopenhauer Vomitatu, well-read man, immediatementally remarked that he had one bigger eye, fact that stuck in the eye, so Konopides Kapabilu is suspicious, and they all began to insult him.
Now then, confidentially speaking, Schopenhauer Vomitatu was a well-read man, and more than that inbeatable, incorruptible, invincible, indestructible, incombatable, indivisible, impenetrable, insaissisable, but a sissy, cause he proved to all his sissiness by the fact that he didn't insult even atinyfractionally Konopides Kapabilu.
And then... nobody passed through his or her or its brains that what could be happening at home chez Le Marquis, cause they caught in the turmoil of facts, didn't insighted at all the unnaccuntable fact that at home chez lui, Le Marquis is raping Gaghe, and they two both of them run after each other around Pluhmah's boudoir, who plays South-American solitaire (Pluhmah, not the boudoir) with the Count Jupiter Receptoru, and Pluhmah is cheating, taking advantage of the fact that the Count is not at all concentrated over playing, cause because next to them happens obscene feats, he permanently checks his watch, cause the day after tomorrow he has a fitting at his couturier, and today it's evening time so it's close to the end.
Now then, Pluhmah extracted the aces' full house from her brassière and beat the Count at the game with the hope that he'll cry of hurt pride, and indeedly, the Count Jupiter Receptoru spilled many tears of sadness that he got a whupping, but Pluhmah kissed his front left knee and he was oki again.
And then... the whole country was engulfed into a wave of pain: Konopides Kapabilu, offenced that he is slanderingly suspected of crime, killed himself sorrowfully, pulling over his head the butterflies net of Gaghe la Corrompue, forgotten in the events’ and political turmoil hang over an infect mobilité; and Konopides Kapabilu didn't live anymore, albeit Rooseveltesky, who in her naughty youth had been a life-saver, deposed all the rooseveltmanely-possbile efforts to rescue him, back from deads, and to be able to exercitate her former profession she threw him in the toilet, from where a bit later she drew him out with a life-belt.
Now then Pluhmah, who being ashamed to walk nudie wore however a bathing suit, no matter the obscenity of the environment, appointed herself to the cafeteria to errand two baggies of mobilités of those infect, but takes me notice that the public detested her, cause the people in the cafeteria drove her away with boos, so Pluhmah refuged at the arm of Count Jupiter Receptoru, who came in a hurry to rescue her from the turbulents' paws, so they two both regrouped at home chez Le Marquis.
And then... Schopenhauer Vomitatu sent Quakeropoll into a war mission, and Quakeropoll, after an enormous quantity of thrilling adventures, arrived to bring back to those in the cafeteria a trophy, that that trophy was nothing else but the contract agreed between Le Marquis Curake and the spy hidden among them, who is inherently a creminal.
Now then, they all and any ogled interestedly the interestingly rag, which carried the words here: "SO WE AGREED, COMRADE MARQUIS?" and underneath, with the bottom up, was written the signature: "CRITZA SCHYZOPHRENES", and they all felt in their subconscious that the key of the mystery lied inside the characters masterfully painted yo-there!
And then.... Schopenhauer Vomitatu announced:
"Comrades, me knows who is the culprit! He's that one who addresses Le Marquis avec 'comrade Marquis'! Wonder, the title of the chanson 'Comrade Marquis, don't f**k with the people!' doesn't ring any bell to you?" at what those in the cafeteria in a single voice was of an accord:
"YES!"
Now then, this wasn't a sufficient proof, so Schopenhauer Vomitatu erected a new accunt of accusation against the defendant:
"There is a man. He has an ill: he can't write the interrogation point but upsidedown!!! So, to write it, he turns the sheet downsideup!!!!! So this happened also here in our case you see and know: the signatorial of the letter turned the sheeet aroundy to put the interrogation point, but forgot to reverse the shiiiit back, so the signature turned up upsidedown! And of this illness is made guilty of having it righty this perfidious and sadistic mockingbird: CRITZA SCHYZOPHRENES!!! and those in the cafeteria were of an accord!
And then... him the one so humiliatingmentally accused, protested with an counter-argument as devastating as the mud volcanoes in Buzau neighborhood, cause he screamed over Schopenhauer Vomitatu, screaming him with scream:
"DUDDY! But for the assassin make two such unpermissible errors, he must have to be been evidently an individual very as sissy as possy-BLY!" and those in the cafeteria was of an accord!
Now then, Schopenhauer Vomitatu didn't grasp where lead Critza Schyzophrenes and then, in consequence, he commended favorably the so subtle reasoning of this one, and to gether with the others, he also was of an accord!
And then... Critza Schyzophrenes launched the century's bomb:
"DUDDY! Ain't it so that thou arest the only one of us who's a sissy? Why is clear and limpid that thee arest the killer!" and those in the cafeteria was of an accord!
Now then, horrended that he was exposed, Schopenhauer Vomitatu followed the egzample of his tragic predecessor, uncle Konopides Kapabilu, and drew over his head the butterflies net, and died, and Rooseveltesky didn't save him, and those in the cafeteria were of an accord!
And then... Vasile it returned to her memory that how Gaghe la Corrompue is in the infect claws (even infecter than the mobilités) of the perverse rascals from the Le Marquis Curake's bunch, and she proposed with pain of vengeance in her voice:
"My dear lil’ buzzers, come in a hurry at home chez Le Marquis, cause this bittery comedy can't go like this for long!" and those in the cafeteria was of an accord!
Not thew, our avengeful chummies quickly rose to the revolution, but Le Marquis' stinky bunch (even stinkier than Le Marquis) looked at then by far how they was comin', with the electronical benoculars, and sniffing the peril, with fright in their tummies hit the road, abandoning Gaghe la Corrompue!
And then... Gaghe le Corrompu made his great act of heroism! Cause he was sturdy, cause he had been as a child a champion at pulldraws! And, running with a great speed not uniformly accelerated and with initial velocity (cause he self-kicked his bottom to auto-augment the impulse), Gaghe (in a way cunning very) le Corrompu came to overpass in running the negative ones!!!
Now then, Gaghe le Corrompu, running very uninterruptedly, surrounded two times those scared bad guys, after which he cried to them with all the pulmonary-vocal intensity that his lungs were apt to liberate:
"You are surrounded!"
And then... the felons, disappointed and disoppinionated, delivered themselves to justice, who couldn't wait to have them, in a private propety, and those in the cafeteria were of an accord!
Now then, it's right that Gaghe le Corrompu didn't sit idle whole the time while made futile attempts to rape him Le hypocrite Marquis Curake but, evidencing that he is the most perspi-cacious of all odars, he came to pierce Le Marquis' secret.
And then... they all learned that The Marquis Curake was named Curake as a pet name for Mercurius, and Mercurius, cause because he was born in a Mercredi, aka Mercoledi, in Italian (Miercole, in Spanish, Miercuri, in Romanian, in English Wednesday, ofcourse)...!
Now then, there still was a mistery to untie at the middle, meanin absolutelymentally none possessed the vaguest idea why was the mobilités infect.
And then... insighted Quakeropoll:
"But of korrs that the mobilités is infect! The mobilités is infect for they was confiscated by Gaghe il Corrupto confiscatered them from at home at Il Marquis, that there is there an environment and ambient so stinking and optscene, and for that the mobilités is infect!
Now then... over.


...Have interfacial galoshes
More fiercely than the pointy-tufty
Technician...!
...!


Lo Zîvîrshi