[Essor Nougier]

Just some facts I'd like to share:


Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Vin Diesel allows to live.

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.

Vin Diesel coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

When Vin Diesel was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Vin Diesel!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

When Vin Diesel jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Vin instead.

Vin Diesel has two speeds: walk and kill.

Vin Diesel is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Vin Diesel can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Vin Diesel, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Vin Diesel. He just likes to sit on a lawn chair and shout, "Jackets are for pussies!" at the Acrtic researchers.