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Gaandalf · 02 Jun 2004, 15:26

Bored Of The Rings

Book 1
Part 1 -

THE BEGINNING OF THE FILM
A Long time ago in ago in a galaxy far, far away …
(Galadriel starts to speak when suddenly the Star Wars theme music starts: tam tam tam … ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta tam tam tam - nah na na)

Galadriel: Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae…
CREW MEMBER 1: Hey, what the f*** is up with this shit?
SOUND GUY: Whoops, wrong tape. (Matrix theme comes on)
CREW MEMBER 2: Nope, try again.

Narrator: And then u think it starts but … and now we see the Sound Guy looking confused and worried. It is the right music, but it sounds icky.

CREW MEMBER 2: It sounds horrible! Who the hell would wanna listen to this shit ?
Pee Jay: Just play something God Daaaaamn It! Anything!

Pee Jay: Put that shit on … You’re fucking up my movie?
Narrator: jajajajaja! You’re sooo gentle!

Galadriel: (voicing over black screen) Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae a han noston ned wilith!

Galadriel: It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, the most wise, the best looking, and the coolest of all beings. (shot of three Elves, two male and one female, standing in cool, wise, and/or beautiful poses) Nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, not so wise, okay looking, and definitely not as cool as the Elves (three men and one girl this time, obviously not ready for the camera). In the land of Mor…
GIMLI: (rough voice over, interrupting) You forgot the dwarves LADYEEEEE!

GALADRIEL: (looking disgusted) Seven to the Dwarf lords, the least wise, worst looking, and least coolest. In the land of Mor-
BILBO: What about the Hobbits?

GALADRIEL: (growls) And then there were the Hobbits. A naive, not-so-smart, “who ate my donut?!” race of nasty footed people, Curly-Sue haired beings. In the land of Mordor the Dark Lord Morron uh … Sauron… whatever! … forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of MORDOR – cool pad – you should check it out,especially during the winter, where the Shadows lie and the pigs fly. . . and people can dress really weird, gay weird. (Black and white stock shots of people fighting not knowing what for.) There were some who resisted the Dark Lord.

SAURON rushes out … who that on my door? Punk ass elves and men disrupting my lunch … Nobody is welcome in heeeere!
Sauron: Eaaah What the hell! Welcome to Mordor Airlines… the finest Airline company in Middle-Earth… you gonn’ fly (next shot… people flying with Sauron’s axe, Elves are way to cool so they they aiight’ in this part).

SAURON: Hah! “I believe you can fly… I believe you can touch the Sky – Spread your wings and fly away… ”
(ISILDUR pops up and grabs the broken Narsil … cuts off the ring…)
ISILDUR: Hah!

DORKS… I mean ORCS: Hah! He took it – God Damn it! – we are gonna get an ass woopin’ from Master Morron
Galadriel: No dark master, no war, he withdraws his ass into the woods and...Blah Blah blah… Then a shit load of years passed until we have another 60 more to wait to finally get to our story, present day… whatever!

to be continued ... soon, very soon

02 Jun 2004, 15:26	#2
Gaandalf The White Rider Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: with charlotte Posts: 4,253	Bored Of The Rings Book 1 Part 1 - THE BEGINNING OF THE FILM A Long time ago in ago in a galaxy far, far away … (Galadriel starts to speak when suddenly the Star Wars theme music starts: tam tam tam … ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta tam tam tam - nah na na) Galadriel: Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae… CREW MEMBER 1: Hey, what the f* is up with this shit? SOUND GUY: Whoops, wrong tape. (Matrix theme comes on) CREW MEMBER 2: Nope, try again. Narrator: And then u think it starts but … and now we see the Sound Guy looking confused and worried. It is the right music, but it sounds icky. CREW MEMBER 2: It sounds horrible! Who the hell would wanna listen to this shit ? Pee Jay: Just play something God Daaaaamn It! Anything! Pee Jay: Put that shit on … You’re fucking up my movie? Narrator: jajajajaja! You’re sooo gentle! Galadriel: (voicing over black screen) Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae a han noston ned wilith! Galadriel: It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, the most wise, the best looking, and the coolest of all beings. (shot of three Elves, two male and one female, standing in cool, wise, and/or beautiful poses) Nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, not so wise, okay looking, and definitely not as cool as the Elves (three men and one girl this time, obviously not ready for the camera). In the land of Mor… GIMLI: (rough voice over, interrupting) You forgot the dwarves LADYEEEEE! GALADRIEL: (looking disgusted) Seven to the Dwarf lords, the least wise, worst looking, and least coolest. In the land of Mor- BILBO: What about the Hobbits? GALADRIEL: (growls) And then there were the Hobbits. A naive, not-so-smart, “who ate my donut?!” race of nasty footed people, Curly-Sue haired beings. In the land of Mordor the Dark Lord Morron uh … Sauron… whatever! … forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of MORDOR – cool pad – you should check it out,especially during the winter, where the Shadows lie and the pigs fly. . . and people can dress really weird, gay weird. (Black and white stock shots of people fighting not knowing what for.) There were some who resisted the Dark Lord. SAURON rushes out … who that on my door? Punk ass elves and men disrupting my lunch … Nobody is welcome in heeeere! Sauron: Eaaah What the hell! Welcome to Mordor Airlines… the finest Airline company in Middle-Earth… you gonn’ fly (next shot… people flying with Sauron’s axe, Elves are way to cool so they they aiight’ in this part). SAURON: Hah! “I believe you can fly… I believe you can touch the Sky – Spread your wings and fly away… ” (ISILDUR pops up and grabs the broken Narsil … cuts off the ring…) ISILDUR: Hah! DORKS… I mean ORCS: Hah! He took it – God Damn it! – we are gonna get an ass woopin’ from Master Morron Galadriel: No dark master, no war, he withdraws his ass into the woods and...Blah Blah blah… Then a shit load of years passed until we have another 60 more to wait to finally get to our story, present day… whatever! to be continued ... soon, very soon** __________________ "Hollywood is like a 10 story cock f.ucking everything in it's path ... just like Madonna!"