Bored Of The Rings [Archive]

Gaandalf

02 Jun 2004, 15:26

Dupa mai multe luni de zile de scris, colaborari intense cu Lady Eowyn -am reushit sa facem putzin "mishto" de Lord Of The Rings. Multzi prieteni au ramas surprinshi la aflarea faptului ca mi-am calcat in picioare miracolul meu drag numit Lord Of The Rings cu toate personajele sale, dar eu m-am distrat de minune scriind aceste randuri.
Pe aceasta cale vrem sa-i multzumim shi Demonei pentru inspiratzie shi datorita faptului ca am folosit ceva din glumele shi materialele ei.

Anuntz Important: Aceasta relatare nu este 100% autentica. Asemanari shi "bucatzi" sunt asimilate.

Enjoy ...

Gaandalf

02 Jun 2004, 15:26

Bored Of The Rings

Book 1
Part 1 -

THE BEGINNING OF THE FILM
A Long time ago in ago in a galaxy far, far away …
(Galadriel starts to speak when suddenly the Star Wars theme music starts: tam tam tam … ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta tam tam tam - nah na na)

Galadriel: Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae…
CREW MEMBER 1: Hey, what the f*** is up with this shit?
SOUND GUY: Whoops, wrong tape. (Matrix theme comes on)
CREW MEMBER 2: Nope, try again.

Narrator: And then u think it starts but … and now we see the Sound Guy looking confused and worried. It is the right music, but it sounds icky.

CREW MEMBER 2: It sounds horrible! Who the hell would wanna listen to this shit ?
Pee Jay: Just play something God Daaaaamn It! Anything!

Pee Jay: Put that shit on … You’re fucking up my movie?
Narrator: jajajajaja! You’re sooo gentle!

Galadriel: (voicing over black screen) Iamar prestar aen naton ne nen, han mathon ne chae a han noston ned wilith!

Galadriel: It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves, immortal, the most wise, the best looking, and the coolest of all beings. (shot of three Elves, two male and one female, standing in cool, wise, and/or beautiful poses) Nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, not so wise, okay looking, and definitely not as cool as the Elves (three men and one girl this time, obviously not ready for the camera). In the land of Mor…
GIMLI: (rough voice over, interrupting) You forgot the dwarves LADYEEEEE!

GALADRIEL: (looking disgusted) Seven to the Dwarf lords, the least wise, worst looking, and least coolest. In the land of Mor-
BILBO: What about the Hobbits?

GALADRIEL: (growls) And then there were the Hobbits. A naive, not-so-smart, “who ate my donut?!” race of nasty footed people, Curly-Sue haired beings. In the land of Mordor the Dark Lord Morron uh … Sauron… whatever! … forged in secret a master Ring, to control all others. One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of MORDOR (http://mywebpage.netscape.com/baraddurmaster/instant/bdmsig.jpg?mtbrand=NS_US) – cool pad – you should check it out,especially during the winter, where the Shadows lie and the pigs fly. . . and people can dress really weird, gay weird. (Black and white stock shots of people fighting not knowing what for.) There were some who resisted the Dark Lord.

SAURON rushes out … who that on my door? Punk ass elves and men disrupting my lunch … Nobody is welcome in heeeere!
Sauron: Eaaah What the hell! Welcome to Mordor Airlines… the finest Airline company in Middle-Earth… you gonn’ fly (next shot… people flying with Sauron’s axe, Elves are way to cool so they they aiight’ in this part).

SAURON: Hah! “I believe you can fly… I believe you can touch the Sky – Spread your wings and fly away… ”
(ISILDUR pops up and grabs the broken Narsil … cuts off the ring…)
ISILDUR: Hah!

DORKS… I mean ORCS: Hah! He took it – God Damn it! – we are gonna get an ass woopin’ from Master Morron
Galadriel: No dark master, no war, he withdraws his ass into the woods and...Blah Blah blah… Then a shit load of years passed until we have another 60 more to wait to finally get to our story, present day… whatever!

to be continued ... soon, very soon

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

02 Jun 2004, 21:33

da.....super faina!!!! (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)
felicitarile mele lui gaandalf, lady eowen, demonei, shi celorlalti care au contribuit la realizarea acestei parodii!!
abia astept continuarea.... :)
ps:faina faza cu porcul zburator!!
FELICITARI INCA O DATA!!!

Demona

02 Jun 2004, 22:11

Bored of the Rings... :( Ce o sa-tzi spun despre titlul asta o sa citeshti intr-un mail... In fine...oricum e doar parerea mea...

LadyEowyin

03 Jun 2004, 07:16

Bored of the Rings... :( Ce o sa-tzi spun despre titlul asta o sa citeshti intr-un mail... In fine...oricum e doar parerea mea...
i like it , honestly ...

LadyEowyin

03 Jun 2004, 07:22

60 YEARS LATER . . .
The Long (and I mean looong¡Kthey didn¡¦t use to do that back in my hippie days. We used tyo kick it all day, everyday.) The Long Expected Party
(Bilbo Baggins stands on a barrel at his birthday)

BILBO: Today is my eleventy-first birthday! But eleventy-one years is far too short a time to live among such admirable hobbits . . . whoah, aaaARRGGGH! He puts on the ring ¡V which by the way ¡K he found it in Gollum¡¦s Cave ¡K and disappears
The Crowd: eeeeah! Bring Out the ale ¡V let the parteee goin¡¦!

Gandalf: Bilbo ¡V get your ass to Rivendell and wait for us there ¡V I got this big thing coming up ¡K gotta get ur nephew to go on this 13 mounths quest to destroy that stupid ass ring of yours!
Bilbo: No it¡¦s my prescioussss, I won¡¦t give it up, it¡¦s mine, it came to me!
Gandalf: God Damn it Bilbo you want me to get pissed and start shaking down the house and get all dark in here!
Bilbo: Ok! On my way!

Gandalf wants to take the ring but as he draws close to it he has a mental frame of a GIANT ASS VAGINA!
Gandalf: No thank you! I am one of the Istari ¡K I am 7000 years old¡K or 3000 ¡V who cares¡K I have knowledge and power ¡V I seek not such pleasures¡K

NARRATOR: Dude! Stop it ¡V You¡¦re GAY!
Gandalf: Ok! None can contempt with the will of the Narrator!

Narrator: Gandalf! Go tell Frodo where he has to go cuz we waistin¡¦ people¡¦s energy, time and nerves!
Gandalf to Frodo: You heard the man! Ah! By the way you can take fatty there with you to keep you company! And by company my dear Frodo you understand whatever you want.
Frodo: I will take him! Yes Yes!
Gandalf Storm Bow: My dear Frodo! Hobbits really are amazing creatures! You can learn everything there is to know about them in a mounth and after 100 years they can still surprize you! My fair , beautiful skinned and handsome Frodo!

Narrator: Meanwhile back in Mordor (Mount Doom, Baradur and a lot of CGI special effects that you can¡¦t even keep track of) we find that someone is pissed off. Sauron (http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/sauron.gif) is standing in the background, looking extremely distressed.

ORC 1: What's the matter with him?
ORC 2: He's still upset over losing that damn Ring.
ORC 1: What? Is this guy for real ?... that was how long ago? Over 3000 years? (pause and the 2 orcs rolling over their eyes) He sure looks tense. I bet if you mentioned the Ring he'd jump 50 feet in the air.
ORC 2: walks up to Sauron and says: Ring.
SAURON: AHHH! (shoots up)
ORC 1: Sorry, I was wrong. Only 48 feet!
ORC 2: Dude! You need to lighten up! That¡¦s pretty pathetic!

(Shot of Gollum being tickled by three dorks. He screams in agony. "Stop tickling me! Please! Shire! Baggins! Chocolate cake! Oh, that feels good!" The nine Nazgul rush out, dressed all in black to pretend they¡¦re pretty cool¡K
SoundGuy puts on the Men In Black Movie Theme Song: ¡§Here come the men in black¡K¡¨
Galadriel: Nobody in this story is cooler than the elves!

Narrator: Bitch wait your turn!
Narrator: Due to some of the malfunctions the characters of Merry and Pippin¡¦ have been introduced directly into the story! ¡§You know to cut the story short¡¨ we think they¡¦re rather pathetic characters but that old dude Tolkien wrote em¡¦ and we can¡¦t shake ¡¥em off! ƒº
Narrator: all of a sudden we see Weird gay Al ¡K a.k.a Tom Bombadil.
Tom Bombadil: Helloooo Friends! Singing all the time..
Frodo: Got no time to waste around with you weirdo!
Narrator: Tom Bombadil disappears.

and we'll see you next week ...

emanuel

03 Jun 2004, 10:42

Gaandalf

03 Jun 2004, 12:56

Bored of the Rings... :( Ce o sa-tzi spun despre titlul asta o sa citeshti intr-un mail... In fine...oricum e doar parerea mea...

i like it , honestly ...

Cred ca Demona se refera la faptul ca exista deja o parodie Bored of the Rings (http://www.almac.co.uk/personal/timw/books/bored.htm), carte iesita de mult timp in SUA, si deci ideea cu titlul nu e chiar atat de originala.
Deci? Cine s-a inspirat de unde? Sau e doar o coincidenta?...

In plus, cred ca ea ar fi trebuit postata in romana, la fel ca si parodia Matrix, cand a fost vremea ei...

Pura coincidentza a fost alegerea titlului. Titlul initzial a fost "Da ritarn ov da ching tu da tu tauers" ... dar a picat - ar fi trebuit sa asimilez toate cele 6 cartzi shi toate cele 3 filme ... shi nu aveam timp.

Shtiu ca ar fi trebuit sa fie postata in romana dar chestia este ca a fost scrisa in engleza pentru ca glumele in limba engleaza sunt mult mai numeroase shi comicul de limbaj este prezent peste tot. Nu ash fi putut face aceeashi chestie cu limba romana, nici in 1000 de ani. Shi inca un motiv ar fi ca a fost scrisa in limba engleza nu pentru a fi postata pe forum ci pentru distractzia mea shi ca sa vad cat de departe pot sa merg cu tot universul asta LOTR ... Daca se cere sa nu mai postez - nici o problema...

BeNnY

03 Jun 2004, 18:09

Presupun ca vreti parere sincera nu?

Prima parte mi se pare pretty lame... Insa a doua parte e considerabil mai buna! Mi-a placut in special faza cu Nazgulii si Men in Black...

Nightwane

03 Jun 2004, 18:21

Generally i like it...needs some work here and there but it's good...

Freaak

03 Jun 2004, 18:28

Daca va credeti voi chiar asa de tari, de ce nu faceti si ceva original?

BeNnY

03 Jun 2004, 18:33

Daca va credeti voi chiar asa de tari, de ce nu faceti si ceva original?

Vorbeai cu noi sau cu Gandalf & Lady Eowyin?

Mie overall mi-a placut.

Freaak

03 Jun 2004, 18:40

Vorbeam cu Gaandalf si LadyEowyn. Si apropo BenNy, frumoasa semnatura ... imi place.

Demona

03 Jun 2004, 19:48

i like it , honestly ...

Bineintzeles ca itzi place, doar ai participat la ea...

Cred ca Demona se refera la faptul ca exista deja o parodie Bored of the Rings (http://www.almac.co.uk/personal/timw/books/bored.htm), carte iesita de mult timp in SUA, si deci ideea cu titlul nu e chiar atat de originala.
Deci? Cine s-a inspirat de unde? Sau e doar o coincidenta?...

In plus, cred ca ea ar fi trebuit postata in romana, la fel ca si parodia Matrix, cand a fost vremea ei...

Yep...asta e! Tzapa...Anyway, ashtept shi restul, deshi am citit-o deja...

BeNnY

03 Jun 2004, 20:16

Vorbeam cu Gaandalf si LadyEowyn. Si apropo BenNy, frumoasa semnatura ... imi place.

Semnatura e luata din Legile lui Murphy... Da' nu mai stiu a cui lege era... Sau regula sau maxima sau ce mai era pe acolo... Promit sa caut si sa pun si asta in semnatura ca sa fie completa :)

Si ON-TOPIC: Demona tu ai participat la asta? Sau tu ai facut una separata? Sau cum> :shock:

Demona

03 Jun 2004, 22:00

Si ON-TOPIC: Demona tu ai participat la asta? Sau tu ai facut una separata? Sau cum> :shock:

Nu am participat la ea. Gaandalf mi-a spus dupa ce a scris-o ca a folosit shi unele idei de ale mele(nu e faza ca ma supar sau ceva de genu`), eu facusem alta separat, dar am distrus-o! No matter anyway...

Garu

03 Jun 2004, 22:02

eu facusem alta separat, dar am distrus-o! No matter anyway...

DE CEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!
:(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :((

BeNnY

03 Jun 2004, 22:29

Demona

03 Jun 2004, 22:50

eu facusem alta separat, dar am distrus-o! No matter anyway...

DE CEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!
:(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :((

Are vreo importantza de ce? Asha am avut eu chef! :x

BeNnY

03 Jun 2004, 22:56

eu facusem alta separat, dar am distrus-o! No matter anyway...

DE CEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!?!
:(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :(( :((

Are vreo importantza de ce? Asha am avut eu chef! :x

Eu de-asta n-am intrebat de ce :) Stiam ce-o sa raspunzi...

...amatorii astia :D

Gaandalf

04 Jun 2004, 08:16

Daca va credeti voi chiar asa de tari, de ce nu faceti si ceva original?
De unde shi pana unde ai tras tu concluzia ca eu ma cred tare ? Altceva mai original decat o parodie ar fi o continuare la poveste ceea ce nu voi face... Eu am facut asta pentru ca asta am simtzit ca vreau sa fac, sa scriu shi sa compun.
Daca tot te crezi tu asha de tare de ce nu scrii tu ceva original ? Fraza "I'm bored of these stupid ass rings!" am auzit-o peste tot - shi poate de asta am ales titlul acesta. You don' like it ? Du-te shi posteaza la "Loc de dat cu picioru" - e la Cafenea (http://www.cinemagia.ro/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3133&start=325&hist=0)

Gaandalf

04 Jun 2004, 08:24

TLD

04 Jun 2004, 09:20

am realizat un singur lucru akum ... la postarea acestei prime partzi din parodie : daca esti maniac LOTr - nu e bine, exagerezi ... vb despre LOTR toata ziua Ex: a deviat intr-un alt topic discutzia de la Harry Potter la LOtr iar Benny a sarit : "Iar vb despre LOTR ?" ..... dar daca faci mishto' de LOTR (scrii 22 de pagini in care parodiezi tot ce-tzi vine la mana)- ba nu e bine ca nu e destul de funny ... ba' chiar lame ...
DECIDE - ONCE AND FOR ALL! Which one is it ? :huh: Voi shtitzi ce vretzi ?

Yo zic sa continuati ca faceti o treaba buna pana acuma... Si stati pe aproape ca m arelansez eu pe aici cu parodia la revolutions... Chestia e sa mai gasesc topicul cu parodia la matrix si matrix reloaded.. pacat ca nu mai e noone ep aici, pacat ca nimeni nu a mai scris nimik pe el... Las ca-l revigorez eu... Doritorii de combinatii la katerink sa-mi dea pm! ;)

LadyEowyin

04 Jun 2004, 09:38

Demona

04 Jun 2004, 17:07

Criza numaru` 3 incomin`...`tui... :x

LadyEowyin

06 Jun 2004, 11:36

Criza numaru` 3 incomin`...`tui... :x
nu face bine la sanatate

LadyEowyin

06 Jun 2004, 11:38

Eu vreau sa fiu lasata in pace sa-mi postez parodia. Nu va place ? Bine ... Va place ? Iar Bine. Pentru cei care cauta cearta o mica dedicatie: D12 (http://www.cinemagia.ro/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3017&start=300&hist=0)

Gaandalf

11 Jun 2004, 13:01

Bree, Weathertop, and the Flight to the Ford (3 in 1 very good offer)
(The hobbits reach Bree. They enter the Dancing Donkey. They go over to the bar and ask for Gandalf. Aragorn stands in the corner. The hobbits all order huge glasses of orange juice. Frodo gets knocked over by a guy. The Ring drops from his hand. Lying on the floor Frodo gives that guy the middle finger and without any notice the rings falls on his finger. Everybody disappears. Frodo looks confused. One man remains. Aragorn grabs Frodo and yanks him upstairs. He throws him on the floor).

ARAGORN: I have the ability to ignore people. But to make them disappear entirely? That is a rare gift! That is a dangerous power you possess.
FRODO: I carry nothing.
ARAGORN: Did I say u carry anything? You gave yourself away. (Sam and Pippin (finishing a muffin) run in. Aragorn jumps, then tries to look like he hadn’t been startled.)
SAM: If you hurt him I will run away and cry like a baby!
ARAGORN: You have plenty of fear, Master Hobbit. That will get you into plenty of trouble, and Nebraska. (Merry rushes in looking very frightened.)
FRODO: There you are!
SAM: Where have you been?
PIPPIN: What’s the matter?
MERRY: I was like, Whoah! And they were like: Whooooah…and then I was like, Whoah… (the other hobbits stare at him)
Pippin: Merry! You got mucus all over my shoulder man!
SAM: What?
ARAGORN: The Black Breath…
Everyone goes to bed. The Nazgul arrive and get a room at the Dancing Donkey. Upon seeing their room – they remain stiff. Only hobbit beds.
Nazgul 7: God damn it! Everything’s goin’ to hell! No ring, no stupid hobbit. Haven’t slept in days!
Nazgul 2: There There! Calm down! Have some candy!
Nazgul 7 : I DON’T WANNAAA!
All of a sudden the nazgul pulls out his sword and starts stabbing the pillows and destroying the room. The other nazgul do the same.
Witchking: What is it that you are doing ?
Nazgul 2: We thought he saw something!
Witchking: Shut up amd sattle up. We’re leaving! After this is all over I’m getting a vacation away from all you fuck-ups!

(Aragorn leads them out of Bree to Weathertop. There, a fight with Nazgûl 2, 5, and 7. Aragorn tosses paper at them. They whine and complain.
Nazgul 7: "Ow! A paper cut! I have pain!" and run off.
The Witch-King pops out and stabs Frodo with a Snickers chocolate bar. Frodo screams in pain. Aragorn chases the Witch-King away. He comes back to Frodo and the other hobbits. He picks up the wrapper and looks around for the rest of the Snickers. Merry licks some icing off his lip, and Pippin licks his fingers clean. Aragorn glares at them.)
Aragorn: That was a Morgul Snickers… finest chocolate in the land. Greedy ass hobbits!

ORTHANC, HOME OF THE SO OBVIOUSLY EVIL SARUMAN

GANDALF:I need your help.
SARUMAN:Blegh. I vant to suck your blood.
GANDALF:Despite your creepy demeanor, I’m going
to reveal some secrets.
SARUMAN:I work for Sauron.
GANDALF:You are the wisest of the Wise.
SARUMAN:I’m evil.
GANDALF:I trust you implicitly.
SARUMAN:I’ll make you break dance.
GANDALF:You ARE evil!
GANDALF and SARUMAN have a really silly looking fight.

Narrator: Cut to Arwen Poondomiel …
ARAGORN: Hi Arwen! What’s this? An Elf caught off her guard?
ARWEN: Very funny. – Stinky!
(back to Frodo - Arwen picks up Frodo and, carrying him on her shoulder, runs off. Glorfindel arrives heroically looking like a member from Justice League. Aragorn and the remaining hobbits stare at him.)
GLORFINDEL: What?
ARAGORN: You're late.
GLORFINDEL: What! Fuck noooo!
ARAGORN: She took Frodo.
GLORFINDEL: Not again… I was, like, really looking forward to saving the little Shiring dude. I ain’t gonna be in the theatrical version but now the Special Extended Edition too? (Aragorn pats him on the back sympathetically)

Peter Jackson: Off the set GLORFINDEL – no need for you anymore!
GLORFINDEL – But … But!

Narrator: Dude! Get off the set!
Narrator: “So passes Glorfindel son of … uh! Whatever!”
Narrator: the 1st chase of the story: Arwen with Frodo -stabbed- and The NINE chasing her!
Next scene : the Bruinen River - The Ringwraiths draw their swords (again soooo predictable). Armed with pieces of paper with swords drawn
on them the Ringwraiths start to cross the “river”)

Bruinen River

NAZGÛL 1: Give up the half-wit She-Elf!
ARWEN: (pauses) What will you give me for him?
NAZGÛL 1: Um...
Nazgul 7: I offer to give you a PHD!
Arwen: A what ?
Nazgul 7: A PRETTY HUGE DICK!
Arwen: Hold On to that thought. What else ?
(the Ringwraiths all put their heads together and pull out their wallets)
NAZGÛL 2: (to 5) Where's your wallet? (5 feels around his robe, looks in his robe etc...)
NAZGÛL 5: I left it in my other robe. (the other NAZGÛL groan at him, then go through their wallets)
Nazgul 6: Why the hell do I have to pay for nr 7 ?
Nazgul 7: blah blah blah!
NAZGÛL 3: We've got 15... no 18 New Zealand dollars.
ARWEN: What? 18 mizzly little dollars?
NAZGÛL 5: And a paper clip!
NAZGÛL 3: I gotta tootsie roll!
NAZGÛL 1: Shut up nr3 you’re embarrassing us! She doesn't want a paper clip or a tootsie roll!
NAZGÛL 5: Why not? It's one of those pretty multicolored ones...
NAZGÛL 9: Will you take a check?
GLORFINDEL: (calling from off screen) No! Don't take it! Their checks bounce!
Pee Jay: God Damn it Glorfindel! Get off the set! Security – get this asshole outta my sight!
Pee Jay: Now! One more time … with passion.
Narrator: 17 takes later we go on with the movie or story or whatever …
ARWEN: I'm handling this!
NAZGÛL 8: Here's another 3...
NAZGÛL 1: Okay, we've got, um... (counting on his fingers) 18, 19, 20... 21 dollars and 15 cents!
ARWEN: (shakes her head) There are some things money just can't buy.
NAZGÛL 7: And for everything else there's Master Card.
ARWEN: Sorry, I only take Visa.

Narrator: Wait and see what happens!

ARWEN: “Nino chitraeglir lastobeth daer, Rimmo nin Bruinen danin Ulaer!”
” Nino chitraeglir lastobeth daer, Rimmo nin Bruinen danin Ulaer!”

ARWEN: I said I was handling this!
Narrator: Super Extra Extended Edition footage … You didn’t get this from me ok? But the scene with the river and the horse waves is CGI…(duuuuh!) and there’s Elrond’s 1st scene where we find him with a FIRE DEPARTEMENT water hose and some sprinklers washing away THE “we got 21 dollars & 15 cents” NINE!
ARWEN: I said I was handling this! I RULLLL!

Narrator: You tell them girl!
ARWEN: Yeah! I’m tough, I kick ass, my dad is soo cool… cuz he’s an ELF MASTER – LEVEL 10, I’m beautiful and I AM WEARING NO LENGERIE (screaming out loud so Viggo could hear her!)

Narrator: We will be back soon after some stupid commercials …

Nightwane

11 Jun 2004, 20:42

it gets better...

ultima faza cu comercials e cam ca nuca-n perete da' las' ca merge.

oh remind me gandalf this: we have to talk :P

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

12 Jun 2004, 22:41

partea a 2a a fost cam penala, dar a 3a mi-a placut la nebunie... :lol:

ogto

13 Jun 2004, 16:03

:shock:

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

13 Jun 2004, 21:56

mai sunt shi alte parodii la tolkien : the sobbit

ogto

14 Jun 2004, 07:22

mai sunt shi alte parodii la tolkien : the sobbit

Sunt MII de parodii la LOTR si HP, MII. Nu toate publicate, dar sunt mai multe parodii decat poti tu citi.

EternalDeadlyFever

14 Jun 2004, 13:24

Toate cele 3 partzy mi se par super-amuzante. Parodiile (in general) imy plak. Daka vretzy sa va amuzatzy ku o parodie numita la fel, dar diferita akcesatzy site-ul http://amethyst-angel.com/bored_of_the_rings.html

Felicitary autorilor. Atzy reushis sa ne facetzy sa radem :)

Gaandalf

14 Jun 2004, 14:55

Galadriel_queen

14 Jun 2004, 16:09

Congratulations to Gaandalf and Lady Eowyn. You made me laugh, and you shouldn't care about what other peole think.

LadyEowyin

15 Jun 2004, 06:53

Congratulations to Gaandalf and Lady Eowyn. You made me laugh, and you shouldn't care about what other peole think.
thank you galadriel! i :love: your signature!
Who cares ? I don't! Ma streseaza ca dau din gura degeaba si ca sa-si ocupe timpul cu ceva. Macar sa nu mai intre daca nu le place. Nu ?
Proiectul la The Two Towers este gata. Am facut cu gandalf un mic draft shi ramane sa termine cu examenul de soferi si mi-a promis ca ne apucam de treaba :w00t:

LadyEowyin

15 Jun 2004, 06:56

it gets better...
ultima faza cu comercials e cam ca nuca-n perete da' las' ca merge.
:P
macar esti sincer. apreciez, mult!

Galadriel_queen

15 Jun 2004, 15:13

Vreau sa vad si urmatoarea parte... :D cand apare?

Gaandalf

15 Jun 2004, 15:16

Vreau sa vad si urmatoarea parte... :D cand apare?
Maine sau poimaine! Daca nu baga Lady Eowyin postez eu maine. O sa vb cu ea...

Galadriel_queen

15 Jun 2004, 15:25

YUPEE!!!
Mie chiar imi place... si bat la pariu ca urmatoarele parti vor fi din ce in ce mai bune (dar si primele 3 au fost super :oops: )

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

15 Jun 2004, 21:37

cate parti mai aveti?....vreau sa stiu, asa ca sa ma pregatesc sufleteste... :happy:

LadyEowyin

16 Jun 2004, 06:46

cate parti mai aveti?....vreau sa stiu, asa ca sa ma pregatesc sufleteste... :happy:
Nu le-am impartit de la inceput. Am zis sa nu postam prea mult ca sa stati sa cititi mult. Cate putin, cate putin. Ultima oara avea 21 de pagini in WORD dar cred ca gandalf a mai adaugat cate ceva.

LadyEowyin

16 Jun 2004, 08:50

A slight preview la conflictul Arwen - The Nine, abea acum am gasit-o :

Eeny,Eeny Meeney, Miny Moe (http://www.freewebs.com/forests_of_mirkwood/ringwraiths.jpg)

BeNnY

16 Jun 2004, 11:00

Am citit din nou totul cap-coada si am incercat sa-mi formulez o parere pertinenta.

Ar trebui sa aiba o farama de poveste. Parca fiecare scena e luata din alta carte (in afara de punctul comun - numele). Legati scenele parodiate intre ele si o sa sune mult mai bine parodia. Nu prea imi place ca ati introdus Naratorul, si uneori sunt propozitiile mult prea scurte si prea multe. Folositi semnele de punctuatie pentru a sugera mai bine unele... stari sau exprimari. De exemplu aia cu "For anything else, there's Mastercard". Aia e o gluma buna - foarte potrivita aici - dupa parerea mea. Dar aici a sunat mult prea scurta. Eventual puteati sa scrieti ceva de genul "...for anything else there's... Mastercard!" sau nu stiu... Vedeti voi. Incercati totusi sa pastrati spiritul caracterelor, desi fac tampenii personajele, sa le faca in stilul Frodo, Sam, Gandalf (aici ati pastrat caracterul pentru ca este unul mai special) etc.

Consider ca parodia asta are potential si poate deveni ceva mai buna. Aparent creste. 2 a fost mai buna decat 1 si 3 mai buna decat 2. Tineti-o tot asa si poate cine stie... Ah, si altceva, lucrati la nume! Titlul e definitoriu! Chiar e! Gasiti un titlu bun!

Gaandalf

16 Jun 2004, 11:21

A nu se face confuzie intre cele 3 partzi ale parodiei shi impartzirea acesteia in mai multe "partzi" pe forum ...
10x!

BeNnY

16 Jun 2004, 11:33

Vorbeam despre cele 3 parti pentru ca ati pus-o in 3 mesaje si asa mi-a fost la indemana... Inteleg ca e o singura parte.

Succes!

Gaandalf

16 Jun 2004, 11:48

Part 2 - The Romantic Crap… uh Part
Rivendell
(Romantic music is playing. We can hear the Elves at a disco in the next room):
“Do the dance/
Make some love/
Get down tonight/
Get down tonight.”

Arwen: A si – Dhuath u-orthor …
Arwen: God Damn music! Let’s go in this magical multi-coloured place so we can DO IT!
Narrator : Suddenly Glorfindel pops out from the bushes dancing & drinking elvish rum.
Aragorn: Glorfindel?
Glorfindel: D.I.S.C.O, D.I.S.C.O, D.I.S.C.O!
Arwen: Is he drunk ?
Glorfindel: Hey Poondomiel! Elves are too cool to get drunk! We’re just happy when we drink elvish rum!
Aragorn: Happy ? what do you mean ?
Glorfindel: What do you want to understand … if you know what I mean ?
Aragorn: Yes, I do!
Aragorn: Honey! I’ll be back in 20 minutes
Arwen: Oh No! I’m getting’ laid and I’m getting now!
Narrator: Arwen nervously picks up Glorfindel and throws him into the Bruinen River and drowns.”So passes Glorfindel – a poor unfortunate actor who didn’t make it to Hollywood!”

Arwen: A si I-Dhuath u-orthor, Aragorn. U or le a u or nin! Reinich I lui mae govannen?
ELROND: What is the meaning of this?
ARAGORN: Uh... uh... I was uh... helping her zip her dress. (Arwen groans)

Pee Jay: CUUUUUUUUUT! No zippers guys…. Common’ there were no zippers in this story! Now Common’ with more feeling this time! (http://img-tbhl.theonering.net/tbhlnews/newsimages/pjsimpsons_t.jpg)
ELROND: He was what?!
ARWEN: What he meant to say was he was helping me find... my necklace.
ELROND: You lost the Evenstar? Isn’t that kick you in the crotch , spit on your neck fantastic?
ARWEN: No...
ELROND: He has it in his hand.
ARWEN: Oh! Why thank you ever so much, Aragorn. I'm uh... I have to go.
(Quickly exits. Aragorn laughs nervously, slightly showing his teeth as EYEBROWS – that’s ELROND, looks at him with the same look he gave MR. Anderson!)
ELROND: I am here to give you the most important things of all: PURPOSE. You have to accept your heritage and become that stupid king already, and take a bath while you’re at it.
Aragorn: Why ?
Elrond: You dare ask that question?
Aragorn: Well yes!
Elrond: Because of you all my fair animals have fled Rivendell. Some never made it … but few got out and the word is out there’s this man in Rivendell who’s killing fellow animals on sight.
Aragorn: Who is he?
Elrond: Dumb ass! It’s you, you dufus! You’ve ruined the reputation of my cool never before seen magical land.
Aragorn quickly flees to the water fall!

LEGOLAS and UNIMPORTANT ELVES arrive
GIMLI and UNIMPORTANT DWARVES arrive.
BOROMIR and THE OLD GUYS OF GONDOR, equally unimportant, arrive.
BOROMIR studies the picture of SAURON. Then, BOROMIR disrespects the SWORD-THAT-WAS-BROKEN that others obviously revere.
BOROMIR: There, I think that establishes some tension between Aragorn and myself.

ARWEN: Don’t let him get to you honey. Let’s have a romantic moment.
<everyone on the set starts pucking their guts out> :sick: :sick: :sick: 20 minutes later everone on the set is good 2 goo but the narrator is still throwing up. Finally an hour later the wheels are back in motion …

Elrond & Gandalf talking …
Gandalf: Now what ?
ELROND: Now we will have a flashback to explain why I look so pissed off all the time.
Narrator: The FLASHBACK of the FLASHBACK of the FLASHBACK starts again, this time from ELROND’S point of view. ISILDUR refuses to give up THE RING. Again.
Narrator: That’s new information … duuuh!

THE OVERBLOWN ELF CITY OF RIVENDELL, or village -
Inside THE NOT-SO-SECRET COUNCIL OF ELROND

Frodo: Gandalf! What happened! Why didn’t you meet us ?
Gandalf: well! …
Narrator: Embarassing & long dialogue between the coolest of wizzards…
Gandalf: If only he had imprisoned me at the top of a high tower without walls or ceiling so that he could not prevent a giant eagle from rescuing me, instead of a huge, deep dungeon underground. … Oh wait!

Aragorn talking to Gandalf: Wait wait wait, let me get this straight: You talked to a moth to tell an eagle to come find you? You speak MOTH, you catch a ride on one of the BIG-ASS EAGLES ACROSS MIDDLE-EARTH ?
Aragorn: I don't think I'm in the right movie Dude! …

The Council : SSSHHHHHHHHHH!
Elrond: This Frodo kid is bugging me with his eyes… Hey! Stop starring at the ring like that… eyes up here! Focus!
Elrond patiently losing his grip! Kid FOCUS! CONCENTRATE! 2 mounths of “concentration camp” won’t hurt …
Frodo: WHAT? Take that back!
Elrond: Dude! Chill! What did I say?
Narrator: Elrond! God Damn it! You’re so stupid! Elijah here is a jew, and he don’t take well jokes with World War 2 Auschwitz similar concentration camps… Apologize!
Elrond: Ok! Ok! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it!
Frodo: Yes, you did!
Elrond: No, I didn’t … Oh what the hell! I did! Carry on now …
Narrator: Quieeeeeet! (lightning and thunder special effects in the backround to point out that the NARRATOR is pissed off!)
Gimli: Here let me make a fool of myself by trying to smash the Ring!!...ouch.
Elrond: Oh yeah I forgot: We can't get rid of it unless we take it to the place Sauron made it.
Elrond: So guys! Who wants to die ?
Gandalf: OK let's do that.
Elrond: You wanna die??
Gandalf: Hell no!
Elrond: That's what I thought.
Gandalf: I mean destroy it
Boromir: Mordor is where it was made. There is evil there(Narrator snorring …) that does not sleep. It does actually… and it snores like hell. Can’t get any decent sleep. Ok let’s go … Kill em’ all. In the name of Good Night Sleep.
Elrond: Somebody take care of this poor helpless guy. Shut him up for good!

Narrator: Upon hearing that, Gimli stands up, picks up his axe and walks over to Boromir.
Gimli: (lifting his axe above boromir’s head) aaaaahhhhh!
Elrond: STOOOOOOP! What the f@ck do you think you are doing? You short hairy, pointles existing animal ?
Gimli: You specifically said “take care of him” … so I took action. My moto is: “Less talk, more action”!
Elrond: You wanna know my motto Gimli? It’s like this:
“Shut your hole before I put you in one.”
Narrator: Meanwhile Boromir was still rambling on: The most horrible stench imaginable; the very air you breathe is a poisonous mixture of the two.

Legolas: Wow! Sounds like fun. Definitely the prettiest here!
Gimli: NO! Don't give it to the elf! Elves are stupid pointy-eared pussies!! Never trust an elf!! Elves are the reason we have this stupid thing! Elves can't commit to a relationship because 'they're immortal and it just gets boring!!!
Legolas: No one said they'd give me the Ring! And I thought we both agreed about that immortal thing!

Narrator:The entire council breaks out into argument for a minute or two; finally Frodo speaks up… (http://www.freewebs.com/forests_of_mirkwood/Debate.jpg)
Frodo: I'll take it!
Gondor men: Pawn it!
Elrond: Shut up you stupid hobbit!
Aragorn: Use it! Oh no! sorry I am the voice of reason here! Use it!- Darn!
Frodo: I'm serious! I’ll go. Better than listening to you hippie-boy!
Council bursting into a mad laughing status…
Elrond turns to the council pissed – eveyone stops laughing & looking nervously with a nervous display of a fake grin.
Elrond I guess no one else wants to do it.
Council: Nope.
Elrond: Sure kid, whatever.
Frodo: Awesome!
Elrond: You won't be sayin’ awesome when you turn out like old "uncle" Bilbo back there.
Frodo: Cousin.
Elrond: Whatever.

Gandalf: Well it looks like we have no choice. I will come and make sure he's tall enough to throw it in. Plus … You’ll need an old guy!
Boromir: I will come and try to change their minds and in case you need some interior conflict!
Gimli: I am a dwarf! You’ll need my accent!
Aragorn: I'm taking a shower!
Council: YYAAAAYY!!!
Aragorn: Frodo! You Have My Sword! (http://img-greenbooks.theonering.net/tookish/images/090102_aragorn.jpg)
Legolas: And I guess I'll come so I can be the most prettyful.
Arwen: I wanna come!! Ary baby can I come too?!
Aragorn: No.
Arwen: Ugh! Why? Don't you LOVE ME?!?!
Elrond: Arwen: there comes a time in every man's life where he needs to be in a fellowship with other people to destroy a weapon of mass destruction such as this ring, and those people need to be men, not women.
Arwen: But why?!?!
Elrond:....because it's in the books.
Arwen:....WWWAAAAAHHHHH!!
Elrond (http://www.freewebs.com/forests_of_mirkwood/PEFElrond04.jpg): Boring council. Good thing i got to say DOOM a few times with a very dramatic voice.

<Exit Arwen, very hysterically. Sam, Merry, and Pippin pop out of the bushes.>
Sam: Hey! We wanna come!!
Pipin: eaaaaah! Not so sure about this – too gay for me! But sign me up…
Merry: We’re hobbits Pipin – remember?
Pipin: Oh yeah! Right! Count me in!
Merry: Hey Frodo! you’ll need comic relief!
Elrond: At least we’ll only lose one elf.

a se continua dupa ce ma intorc din capitala ... :D now ENJOY!

Gaandalf

16 Jun 2004, 11:58

Vorbeam despre cele 3 parti pentru ca ati pus-o in 3 mesaje si asa mi-a fost la indemana... Inteleg ca e o singura parte.
Succes!
Thank you! And may be ENJOY what the hell! :P
Sorry dk de data asta e prea lunga "particica" dar s-ar putea sa lipsesc mai mult so ....

Galadriel_queen

16 Jun 2004, 12:01

Wow! Mishto, chiar f mishto.

Undomiel

16 Jun 2004, 12:33

Congratulations to Gaandalf and Lady Eowyn. You made me laugh, and you shouldn't care about what other peole think.

eu zic ca ar trebui sa le pese ce zice lumea.de aia au si bagat-o pe forum.parodia e draguta,dar nu asa se "funny" pe cum credeam.chiar e pacat ca demona nu a bagat-o pe a ei.ii intrecea pe gaandalf si eowyn,dar cum nu exista,ne multumim cu ce avem

Gaandalf

16 Jun 2004, 12:36

eu zic ca ar trebui sa le pese ce zice lumea.
Pentru ce sa-mi pese ? Eu am scris-o pentru mine shi m-am intrecut pe mine insumi. apuca-te tu dk tot zici k nu este decat funny! Sincer asha vrea sa shtiu shi eu ce fel priveshti tu umorul mai ales cel transpus in cartzile lui Tolkien, shi in acest caz shi filmele Lord Of the Rings.
Pana atunci multzumeshte-te ca ai ce citi ...

ogto

16 Jun 2004, 12:44

Daca va intereseaza parodii celebre la LOTR, cautati pe internet jocul gen interactive fiction tot pe numele Bored Of The Rings. Este cam din anul '86 pt. spectrum. Dar e celebru. El este printre primele.

P.S. Stiti ce este genul interactive fiction?

Galadriel_queen

16 Jun 2004, 12:46

Normal ca stim. Nu esti singurul care se documenteaza pe aceasta tema.

Galadriel_queen

22 Jun 2004, 22:48

Si continuarea? :?

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

22 Jun 2004, 22:53

pai continuarea va aparea, daca nu ma insel, cand va veni gaandalf din bucuresti...

LadyEowyin

23 Jun 2004, 09:12

schimbari - in bine din cate observ! frumusel. Mi-a placut gandy!
Continuarea mai spre sfarsitul saptamanii.

M_olecula

23 Jun 2004, 17:58

M_olecula

23 Jun 2004, 18:02

Iertati-mi greselile dar ....d-abea m-am trezit si.... :sleep:

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

23 Jun 2004, 21:09

te scuzam...dar ce, este de aia nocturna?
ps: welcome to the forum!! :)

M_olecula

24 Jun 2004, 00:08

te scuzam...dar ce, este de aia nocturna?
ps: welcome to the forum!! :)

Nu esti d-aia nocturna , aseara a fost o exceptie ...bine si in alte seri ....in fine. Merci oricum pentru bun venit !!!!!!!!!!!!

M_olecula

24 Jun 2004, 00:11

Doamne ...iar am facut greseli ...acum nu mai scuza , neatentia !!!!!!!!!

Gaandalf

24 Jun 2004, 06:57

Salu ...vreau sa va spun ca am citit toate partile care le-ati lasat aici si sunt super tari..... FELICITARI Gaandalf si LadyEowYin pentru ca ati facut ceva extrem de interesant su nu numai... sunt super amuzante... cel putin la prima chiar am ras mult .... Tineti-o tot asa !!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)
10x man! Mai urmeaza o parte dar akuma mi-e asha lene sa o mai citesc, sa mai scriu, sa mai rectific cate ceva. Am alte idei ... O sa postez pana in weekend ...

M_olecula

24 Jun 2004, 12:47

10x man! Mai urmeaza o parte dar akuma mi-e asha lene sa o mai citesc, sa mai scriu, sa mai rectific cate ceva. Am alte idei ... O sa postez pana in weekend ...

Daca o postezi pana in weekend e bine.... dar vezi sa nu te cuprinda lenea de tot si uiti de ea ca ar fii mare pacat... ati facut un lucru tare rau !!! Astept postul !!! ;)

Gaandalf

24 Jun 2004, 14:12

Gaandalf

28 Jun 2004, 15:21

...

(Frodo escapes before Bilbo bores him to death)
Narrator: As they leave various things are being shouted by the elves and other things lurking over there, such as "have a safe trip" and "hope you don't screw up" and "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE", from EYEBROWS!

Frodo: Mordor ? Gandalf which way is it ? Left or right?
Gandalf: Ok! Get this kid away from me. I will fuck him up good! And I ain’t afraid to do it! Punck ass biatch! YOUUUUU are taking this to SERIOUS! Punk somma bitch!

Gandalf: Aragorn! GET HIM OUTTA MY SIGHT!

Along the Misty Mountains...

Aragorn: So does anyone have a clue as to where we're going?
Sam: Mt. Doom?
Aragorn: No I mean what highway we're taking here.
Gimli: Let us go through the Mines of Moria!
Legolas: Let us shut the fuck up!
Gimli: Lembas chewer!
Legolas: Mine Mongrel!
Gimli: Fairy!
Legolas: Gnome!
Gimli: You can hardly tell your women apart from your men!
Legolas: At least our women don't have beards!
Gimli: *GASP* Take that back!
(Legolas sticks his tongue out) – Neah Neah Neah Neah Neah!
Gandalf: Gimli I would not pass through the Mines of Moria; even if you gave me five bucks.
Gimli: Ten bucks says we go anyway! HA! You can't avoid it! It's in the books!
Gandalf: Don't we have any choices?

Narrator: Dude! Gay people always die 1st … quit whining!
Gandalf: Ok!
Narrator: Good! Carry On!
Gandalf: I don’t wanna die!
Gandalf: Let us go up that impossibly snowy mountain!!
Gimli: Oh come on! You know we'll never make it-
Gandalf: I'd rather not!
Gimli: Save everyone some time and cut a good ten minutes out of the movie!
Gandalf: No! We must try.
Gimli: ...How 'bout I just meet ya in the mines?-
Gandalf: NO!
Legolas: Shut up Dwarf! Why don't you just get going and start singing that "Heigh-Ho" song your people like so much?
Gimli: I suppose you don't mind snow, elf, because all your kind are working at the North Pole!
Gandalf: Man this was a bad idea....
Gimli: I told you!
Legolas: Saruman is cursing the mountain!
Frodo: Can't you do something Gandalf?
Gandalf: Not really. White powers cancel out grey in the High Order of Wizards unless there is a 2/3 majority vote. And since I received a fine for Chanting Under the Influence I've had no magical ability whatsoever, which is why I display next to NONE in the film.
Gimli: I want my ten bucks Wizard man!
Gandalf: Oh quit your whining! We'll go to the God Damn mines!
SARUMAN: We need to create the mutant from Small Soldiers and pull down some trees to guarantee the revenge of the Ents.
Narrator: Dude! Cut your nails!

Outside the mines …

Narrator: Gimli starts saying a joke to Legolas, Merry and Pippin…after 30 minutes the joke is not over …Meanwhile Gandalf desperately tries to open the Doors of Durin…

Merry: I sooo wish those Uruk-hai hurry up and catch us!
Legolas : Amen brother! Amen!
Gimli: … and the leprechaun says : I’m mad! Hahahahaha!
Narrator: Guys just laugh! Other wise he’ll be grumpy and won’t act right!
Legolas, Merry & Pippin: hahahahahahahahaha! (clapping their hands)
Narrator: Doors still closed! Bummer!
ARAGORN:(walking over) Do my ears deceive me, or were you telling that leprechaun joke, Gimli?
GIMLI: Why, yes I was.
ARAGORN: Ooh! I love that joke! Will you tell it again?

(Legolas, Merry and Pippin run off screaming. They hit into the door and it opens.)

SAM says goodbye to BILL THE PONY, world’s most underrated character.
Fight with giant squid-looking octopus-type shark- thing; dangerously silly … and lame

Narrator: Fight with giant squid-looking octopus-type shark- thing; dangerously silly … and lame. 4 days to the other side? Crap! AGAIN we must cut this story short!
Turns out, there are LOTS Of DEAD PEOPLE in MORIA…
Boromir: This is not encouraging.

The gay Parade enters Balin’s tomb …
PIPPIN: You said Bilbo told you that Sting was orc-repellant! I don’t think it’s working.
LEGOLAS: (as he expertly finishes off several sock puppets with his knitting needles) Here, let me see that. (Frodo hands him Sting. Legolas glances at it and gives it back to Frodo) Needs new batteries.
FRODO: (sighs) Go figure.

and te be be be continued ...

Gaandalf

28 Jun 2004, 15:23

Lady E .. u're up ... I'm reeally tired!

Galadriel_queen

28 Jun 2004, 18:32

Inclin sa cred k celelalte au fost mai bune decat ultima parte. :(

Pinky

28 Jun 2004, 23:01

Mi-au placut toate! Congrats! :)

M_olecula

29 Jun 2004, 01:00

Inclin sa cred k celelalte au fost mai bune decat ultima parte. :(

De acord cu tine !!!!!!

LadyEowyin

29 Jun 2004, 08:39

Tu o sa o faci si pe urmatoarea ca nu cred ca ajung acasa pana saptamana viitoare.
Mi-au placut toate! Congrats! :)
:w00t: tank you!

Nightwane

29 Jun 2004, 12:28

no no no...ati dat-o PREA in diverse...a mai scazut nivelul de entertainment. try try again...

WraIth

29 Jun 2004, 19:57

mie mi-a placut(mai ales gimli shi leg)

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

29 Jun 2004, 21:39

hmm...a fost destul de interesanta.. ;) ...nu prea am ras cu lacrimi, dar a mers!!
keep up the good work! 8)

LadyEowyin

30 Jun 2004, 07:18

mie mi-a placut(mai ales gimli shi leg)
deci gandy a scris toata chestia asta ptr el. Faza cu "leprechaun joke" eu n-am inteles-o dar el a insistat. Are el totul planuit. E calculat. Prea calculat. Stie tot ce vrea si ce nu vrea in parodie.
that's gandy. :P

raptor

01 Jul 2004, 21:09

...nu ne place sa fim luati peste picior :lol: ...

Gaandalf

02 Jul 2004, 10:30

...nu ne place sa fim luati peste picior :lol: ...
nu te ia nimeni peste picior. Eu am facut-o pentru mine. Este "selfish" din partea mea ca am pus glume pe care le shtiu numai eu. But what can u do ? Nothing. Actually Nothing personal aginst anyone... "we made this for ussss" :D

Gaandalf

02 Jul 2004, 11:50

Balin’s Tomb - some dead relative of Gimli

Narrator: Ah! There’s also Gimli crying over his fallen cousin Balin! … fast forward please! Enter the cave troll, (Harry Potter flashbacks :sick: :sick: :sick: ) Frodo is stabbed with a spear. AGAIN.
Narrator: Pippin – who was drunk and barely said one word during this story or movie drops a bucket and wakes up Balrogand gives away their position.

Aragorn: Stupid short-ass ring-bearer has fallen. Our quest is over … let’s go home & rest.
Frodo: Just kidding. I did that slide-blade-between-arm-and-chest trick. Pretty funny, no? NINE PEOPLE utterly kick the asses of dozens of ORCS
Gimli: You are full of surprizes Mr Baggins. Too full! You wanna live to die another day? Stop fucking around.
Narrtor: He’s got Mithril on him … Level 3 Upgrade baby!
Balrog: you woke me up now I will kick your asses.

Narrator: surrounded by dorks the Gay Parade find themselves in a tight situation … how will our heroes get out of this one? Easy … This guy Balrog of Morgoth shows up uninvited (well actually Pippin woke him up) and all the goblins scram …

(They go to the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm. They come up to the Bridge. It is one long twisted piece of bubble gum. Legolas shoots his knitting needles at an orc, who screams, "KOWAAABUNGA!" as he falls. Legolas super-jumps over, grabs the knitting needles, and super-jumps back. He ends up in front. They all run down the stairs. Frodo reaches the cut off stairs, and nearly falls. He swings his arms trying to get his balance, but Gandalf bumps into him and Frodo falls).

GANDALF: Oops...
SAM: He still has the Ring! Mr. Frodo! Wait for me! (jumps)
PIPPIN: No! Sam has the food! Wait up Sam! (jumps)
MERRY: I'm coming too! (jumps)
GANDALF: Better go keep an eye on those Hobbits. Meet you at the bridge! (jumps)
ARAGORN: Oh... okay. Um... now what?
GIMLI: When you are unsure of what to do, it always helps to tell a joke. Lets see... oh! How 'bout this one! There is this leprechaun-
LEGOLAS: (sticks out his eyes) Gimli! You'd better stay with Gandalf. He’s too far behind (pushes Gimli)
GIMLI: (as he falls) ... and he walks into a bar, he goes up to the bartender and says...
BOROMIR: Ah, much better. To the bridge ?
ARAGORN: Race you there!

(Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir are nearly at the Bridge, when all of the sudden, the hobbits, Gandalf, and Gimli fall in front of them)
Legolas to himself: God Damn it! I am sooo pretty!
Aragorn: Alright!
Gandalf: No...not alright.
Huge flames come from the end of the hall…
Boromir: What is this new devilry?
Gandalf: He's an old demon...I swear he'll be the death of me.
Aragorn: Gandalf – Dude! You gonna die!
Pippin: Bummer!
Boromir: RUUUUUUUUUN!
Aragorn: 1st good idea Boromir!
Gandalf: It’s no use. We will never outrun the Balrog.
Legolas: who says we have to outrun him … we’ll just outrun you … that will suffice!
Balrog overhearing Legolas: ha-ha-ha! Your ass is grass Gandy!
Gandalf: He's a Balrog...and if you all knew half as much as I did about him then we'd know more than half about it than half the population!
Sam: Was that supposed to be funny?
Merry: Wasn't that joke supposed to be at the beginning?
Pippin: Oh! I see! In the hour of his passing Grey Fool is in mood for jokes …
Aragorn: Gandalf, I suggest you keep the jokes to a minimum.
Gandalf: Well I hope you know more about humor than you do about hygiene!
Boromir: Haha!! That was a good one!
Pippin: I don't mean to interrupt anything, but that huge fire monster's coming towards us & you guys are up for stand-up comedy ?
Frodo: So we should run??
Gandalf: Yeah. That would be an option. You could stay here and die along with me …
Aragorn: You wish!
Legolas: Runing? Again? Why? I’m messing up my hair!

Narrator: They run…They get to the bridge; they all cross it except for Gandalf – he’s the one we have to let go in this story…
Gandalf: You should reconsider attempting to cross this bridge!!
Aragorn: Ahh damn! He's forgot his lines...
Gandalf: My name is Gandalf!...I...am a....Wizard!!...and I have a super-bright FLASHLIGHT ATTACHMENT!!
Balrog: RRAAAAARRRR!!
Gandalf: If...you don't...uhh...stop!.... I'll....hurt you!!
Balrog: RRRRAARRR!!
Gandalf: Uhh....HIIYYYAAAAHH!!

Balrog: Look, your lines are "You shall not pass", and all that mumbo jumbo about the secret fire, ok?! And all that whinning … that needs to stop.
Gandalf: Oh yeah, sorry.
Balrog: I can't work with this!! Bad actors, bad visual effects, and the sets are faulty as- WWAAAAHHHH!!!
1 minute of embarassing talk and a bridge collapse later…
<Both Gandalf and Balrog fall.>

Frodo: GGGAAANNNDDAAALLLFF!!!! NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Sam: Oh give it a rest Mr Frodo he comes back in the sequel!
Frodo: Yeah but he actually knew where we were going!!
Legolas: Good point.
<Everybody stares for a few seconds at Gandalf literally waving everyone. They finally realize that they stopped for nothing and exit>

to be CONTINUED - BY LADY EOWYIN

Galadriel_queen

02 Jul 2004, 21:54

:D Nice. Faza cu Harry Potter flashbacks nu avea ce cauta acolo, dar... tu esti autorul...

M_olecula

03 Jul 2004, 03:17

A fost buna partea asta , mai buna ca precedenta... good job guys ;) !!!!

WraIth

03 Jul 2004, 20:47

it just keeps getting better and better :)

BeNnY

03 Jul 2004, 21:26

Total obiectiv vorbind, nu mi se pare ca are nici un sens chestia asta ce ai scris-o tu mai sus. Parca ati scris asa doar ca sa scrieti... N-are nici un haz, si faza cu HP ce cauta acolo? Chiar n-am inteles. Prima si a 2-a au fost mult mai bune, asta sucks ass big time, fara suparare...

Singura cu haz mi s-a parut ultima parte, aia care incepe cu Frodo: GGGAAANNNDDAAALLLFF!!!! NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ... in rest... useless

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

03 Jul 2004, 22:21

da....a fost.......interesanta.
unele faze erau kiar mijto, dar in rest it was a bit laim... :?
faza cu saritul a fost faina, dar faza cu porkar.....what's up with that?? esti dragut sa ne explici shi noua?...
sper ca urmatoarea sa fie shi mai buna...keep up the good work. :P :happy:

Ionutz55

03 Jul 2004, 22:35

primele 2 au fost mai bune, clar, dar nici ultima nu a fost asa de rea

Riddick

04 Jul 2004, 18:18

am stat o ora pana am citit tot.acum sincer,parerea mea.e bunicel,se putea mai bine,e destul de deranjant ca e scris in engleza.intradevar unele faze cad mai bine in engleza,dar devine obositor la un moment dat.apoi e faza cu "Bored of the Rings",de care spune emanuel si demona.sincer sper ca sunt creatii proprii ale gaandalf si ladyeowyn or something.adica sidaca nu sunt...in fine.cred ca ati facut curiosi pe multi asa ca ar fi frumos sa continuati.cel putin eu astept si restul...

Gaandalf

05 Jul 2004, 11:33

1 - HP flashbacks - sunt de la narrator - as in Moi,Je,Me, Eu, Io' :lol:
2 - Pt Riddik: este terminata deja numai k ami trebuie cointurata pe ici pe colo ...
3 - In romana sincer shi fara fitze sau bashini in cap - nu ma pricep la umor... Can't do it. Umoprul in engleza s-a dezvoltat la mine incepand cu Lion King (jocul de cuvinte) : "Make mine a cubb sadwich!", Did we order our dinner TO GO ? No! Why ? CUUUUUZ there it goes...." - follows Lil' Simba & Nala running off.
4- Shtiu ca poate nu va intereseaza toaate astea... dar ptr mine Comicul de limbaj este cel mai inteligent. CA nu am reushit o prea mare perfiormantza asta este partea a2a. Nimeni nu reusheshte din 1a. This is my first shot. I think i'll do even better.

P.S. - Sorry guys! Eu dupa ce am citit-o toata - am ras de m-am rupt. Cred k am facut-o pe gustul meu. That's it!

More parts will be "cuuuming"! :lol:

BeNnY

05 Jul 2004, 12:29

1 - HP flashbacks - sunt de la narrator - as in Moi,Je,Me, Eu, Io' :lol:

Atunci daca tot ai facut chestii doar ca sa te satisfaci asa pe tine ar trebui sa o tii la tine in PC. Eu nu fac poze de familie si le pun pe forum, nu? E ca si cum eu as scrie ceva si asa fara nici un pic de jena scriu ca personajul se gandea "ba bagamias pula-n LOTR ce cacat", nu? Care e rostul. Daca scrii niste chestii fara noima atunci pastreaza-le pentru tine. Evident au o valoare emotionala pentru tine pentru ca tu le-ai scris dar... cam atat! Pentru noi nu.

P.S. - Sorry guys! Eu dupa ce am citit-o toata - am ras de m-am rupt. Cred k am facut-o pe gustul meu. That's it!

La fel. Total aiurea, trebuia s-o tii pentru tine atunci

Gaandalf

05 Jul 2004, 12:42

Benny dk nu shtii - te rog -silence... Nu am pus-o de capul meu. Alte persoane la kre nici nu te gandeshti m-au convins.
bagatzi-ai ... este o parere, poze de familie este personal - nu au nici o treaba cu filmul...this does sooo end of story.

Galadriel_queen

05 Jul 2004, 15:23

Benny, autorul are dreptul sa scrie ce vrea in propria creatie, si nu ar trebui sa isi schimbe lucrurile spuse doar pt k asa vrea unul sau doi. Mie chiar imi place, desi imi raneste putin orgoliul de fan HP. :D

BeNnY

05 Jul 2004, 19:44

La fel de mult putea sa fie Spider-man flash-backs ca tot asa reactionam... Nu-si are nici un rost.

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

06 Jul 2004, 21:43

Gaandalf

07 Jul 2004, 09:10

Gaandalf

12 Jul 2004, 14:18

Part 3

Outside Moria... where Legolas still thinks of himself as coolest guy around... ARAGORN and BOROMIR drag FRODO away from making a FOOL of HIMSELF.

All: WAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Boromir: Well, what do we do now?
Aragorn: We go to Lothlorien.
Frodo: Why?
Aragorn: ...Look, I really like those belly dancers, OK? And
they happen to be touring elven-refuges, and Lorien is their
next stop.
Legolas: Gross dude, my sister is one of them!
Aragorn: Ooh ooh ooh!! Is she Latsoleg?
Legolas: -Yeah.
Aragorn: She is HOT!!
Boromir: Mmm mmm...belly dancers- that’s a switch…
Sam: Oh would you all stop with the drooling? We’ve got an
important mission here and Mr. Frodo can’t take it much
longer!!
Aragorn: Sam, I don't know about you...but that is the gayest thing you said in this movie...

Lothlorien:

Gimli: Be careful young hobbits! There is a tale of an evil
elf-witch in these parts. She eats man-flesh!
Aragorn: Like someone else we know.
Sam: Whatever!
Gimli: AHEM!! But not to worry...I got an elf-safety merit
badge when I was a wee Dwarf Scout.
(Elves pop out from everywhere)
Haldir: Pick a boo you fucks you!
Haldir: Your friends are so stupid I could have strangled them
with a cordless phone.
Aragorn: Haldir!! Wassssup nigga’?? Are you touring with the belly dancers too?
Haldir: ...I’ve lived here, you idiot. All my life.
Gimli: I wanna go home!!
Haldir: You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Woods!
Wood. You cannot go back you stupid dwarf!
Pippin: Good job, Aragorn. Now we’re stuck here for the REST
OF OUR LIVES!!!
Aragorn: But hey that means those belly dancers are stuck
too!!
Boromir: Aragorn are you for real? I mean ... who the heck needs to save Middle-Earth ? Let them find themselves other heroes!

Aragorn: And we know that Dwarves are not allowed in this tale-like place,so we are all willing to be blindfolded.
Legolas: What are you talking about Aragorn?
Haldir: Actually we don’t care.
Aragorn: Of course you do! Dwarves haven’t been allowed in
here for like ever!
Haldir: I’m afraid you’re thinking about the books.Let me update you a little bit...You see, this is the movie; all small details from the books are completely disregarded! In fact, we had 217 Dwarves over here the other day for a big Superbowl Party, so there’s no tension here at all! We even have small urinals custom-made for Dwarves!
Aragorn: Whatever! BEEEEELY DANCERS DUDE! Yeah and we have to see Lady Galadriel 1st ...
Haldir: Take you to her i will!
Aragorn (confused – looking around)
Elf captain around there: Too much TV...

Somewhere else in Lorien …

Haldir: Found her I have …
Galadriel: Welcome you to Lothlorien we do and support your
Quest also. Yet extremely pessimistic i am about it and
basically tell everyone they’re gonna die.
Aragorn: sssup with the weird talking ?
Celeborn: Dude! We watched Star Wars last night for 9 hoours straight. Dude it was sooo coool!
Aragorn: Last I checked you had no calble whatsoever.
Celeborn: yeah but we borrowed the Palantir from Saruman and it turns out that it’s cheaper than cable. + the internet is great, Saruman tells me that’s how he found himself a date.
Aragorn: No shit ?
Celeborn: Yeah he tells me he found a brunette called: Grima.
Galadriel: Shut up!! I am talking!! ...We think blah blah blah
blah (while she’s talking she stares everyone down and
basically tells them they’re gonna die) blah blah blah blah
blah! Yada yada yada...Agree do you?
All: Uhh...yes. No??
Celeborn: Show off! It’s always about you.
Galadriel: Guess what Cely ? No “get naked” in the jungle tonight.
Celeborn: Yupiiii! Gonn’ check those belly dancers with the son of Arathorn.

Narrator: Being a very big budget film we have thousands of sets so here we go again … after Aragorn was being forced to shower …

Galadriel: Psst! Frodo!
Frodo: What? (then thinking to himself : „That’s a HUUUGE BITCH!”)
Galadriel: Follow me you will!
Check this thing out! Frodo: Whoa...what is it?
Galadriel: It’s a mirror that you pour water into and it
basically tells you that you’re gonna die!
Frodo: Let me see!
Galadriel: Behold!

(Various shots of things burning and other scenes that make
the audience wonder if that will happen in the future, and it
basically tells Frodo he’s gonna die)
Frodo: Now that was some freaky shit!

And Another Place with lots of trees in Lorien...

Aragorn: Those belly dancers are even better the seventh
time!!
Frodo: Fuck! I missed them again because I was taking a
shower! How were they, Sam?
Sam: I made a promise Mr. Frodo, a promise: Don’t you leave him Sam Wise Gamgee! – and i don’t mean to...I was watching you take a shower... uh! ... just to make sure ... is that ok with you?!!
Frodo: My dear Sam – this is why your part in this tale is not over!

Narrator: yeah! Cuz u 2 are gay!

Galadriel: Since you are leaving, I’ll give you presents!
Aragorn: But that’s not in the cinema version! Just the Special Extended Edition!
Galadriel: Yes but I’m giving them to you anyway.
Galadriel: Sam, you take this seed, and plant it
in the Shire.
Sam: Umm Ma’am, I’m not the kind of person who plants the
seeds, if you follow me...
Galadriel: You mean you’re not a gardener?
Sam: Well I suppose you could say that, I enjoy the flowers, I
just don’t plant the seeds the way you think i do.
Galadriel: I don’t understand?(shows him gift)
Sam: Ohhh! Ha ha! Seed, I get it! That’s a good one!
Galadriel: Meriadoc and Peregrin; You get these knives- to hang Frodo if he gets too annoying!
Merry: Meriadoc and Peregrin?
Pippin: Those are our names in the books...
Merry: Oh yeah.
Galadriel: Frodo, I give you this really bright flashlight that seems of no use right now.
Frodo: Flashlight?? ...I may seem like a dork, but that
doesn’t mean I want flashlight and flowers and ponies!! I want
a sword too!

Galadriel: We ran out of swords, just take what you get and be
happy!... Ahh, dwarf. What do you want from me?
Gimli: You know what I want from you ...
Galadriel: (embarassed)I mean a gift! Yes a gift. What could I
give to you?
Galadriel: How ‘bout some of my hair?
Gimli: That’s gross! – I’ll take it!
Galadriel: And to the entire Fellowship, I give a load of
Lembas!
Sam: Not more Lembas!!
Galadriel: You already have Lembas?
Sam: Yes, from Rivendell.
Galadriel: Oh, well our Lembas is better. Their’s is Lembas
Lite. We have the good fattening Lembas! Plus our flavor is
chocolate.
Sam: Chocolate Lembas!
Aragorn: Sam you’re gay!
Galadriel: Now go! Get the fuck outta hieeeeer!
Celeborn: Elessar! Nice goin’ with those belly dancers last night. Man we were so drunk!
Aragorn(looking behind him): Dude who you talking to ?
Celeborn: You dumb ass!
Aragorn: Me?
Celeborn: Yeah! We got drunk last night and we decided to change your name … into Elessar!
Aragorn: When people get drunk they usually end up with a tatoo. But no I end up with a crappy new nickname. Dumb ass Elves!
Celeborn: Hey! Watch your mouth!
Aragorn: What for?
Celeborn: Cuz …
Aragorn: What kind of name is Celeborn?
Celeborn: Bite my pointy ears elf-wannabe! Now take this dagger and get the fuck off my land! How much of a male elf am I now huh?
Aragorn: Common dude! I like the name… really!
Celeborn: Really? Cool! I didn’t mean what I just said! Naever!
Elessar: Naever – whatever th fuck that means…
Celeborn: Y’all come back you hear! Argy … come check out next season’s bellydancers ok?
Aragorn: It’s ON!

ORTHANC, HOME OF THE OBVIOUSLY EVIL SARUMAN

Saruman: Give ‘em hell in the fourth quarter!

more next week ...

Mifune

12 Jul 2004, 16:17

Am ras enorm de mult incat sa am nesimtirea sa iti cer si eu toata parodia intr-un fisier word (daca este posibil). Chiar vreau sa o am acasa toata, nu luata de pe forum.
Voi reveni cand voi avea timp.
Multumesc anticipat.

Mifune

12 Jul 2004, 16:27

Ai introdus si cartile sau doar filmele in parodie?

Galadriel_queen

12 Jul 2004, 18:15

Really really nice. Imi place. Keep up the good work! :D :D :D :D

Pinky

12 Jul 2004, 22:48

Super! Partea asta mi-a placut cel mai mult pana acum. Chiar trebuie sa asteptam pana saptamana viitoare? I won't be able to see it... tocmai peste 2 sapt si ceva ma intorc :((

LadyEowyin

13 Jul 2004, 07:04

In 2 saptamani ajung si eu acasa. In sfarsit. Am crezut ca vacantele astea sunt relaxante dar sunt si istovitoare. Am o pofta de citit parodia si de postat pe cinemagia in liniste si pacce de n-aveti idee.

Parodia a mai fost "alterata" din cate observ "in modul bun". Marea provocare se apropie cu The Two Towers.
Multumim ca va place! :w00t:

WraIth

14 Jul 2004, 20:44

klumea
super
abia astept sa vad cum iese la TTT :)

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

14 Jul 2004, 21:46

dupa parerea mea partea asta a fost cea mai buna dintre toate!! am crapat de ras la faza cu "wassssup nigga' "!!!
keep up the f***ing good work!!!!!!

Mifune

15 Jul 2004, 07:07

Galadriel: Follow me you will! Check this thing out! Frodo: Whoa...what is it?
Galadriel: It’s a mirror that you pour water into and it
basically tells you that you’re gonna die!
Frodo: Let me see!
:lol: :lol: :lol: genial!
Haldir: Take you to her i will! Aragorn (confused – looking around) Elf captain around there: Too much TV...
La fel de amuzanta intra si fza cu palantirul. :lol:
Gimli: AHEM!! But not to worry...I got an elf-safety merit badge when I was a wee Dwarf Scout.
Sam: I made a promise Mr. Frodo, a promise: Don’t you leave him Sam Wise Gamgee! – and i don’t mean to...I was watching you take a shower... uh! ... just to make sure ... is that ok with you?!!
Frodo: My dear Sam – this is why your part in this tale is not over!
Influentze din partea a3a. :lol:

Galadriel_queen

15 Jul 2004, 20:43

Yup... Frodo and Sam are soooo gay! Okay, am baut prea mult azi... inapoi la citit parodii cu mine.

LadyEowyin

23 Jul 2004, 07:25

Gandy! Cam lazy in ultima vreme din ce vad. Lasa ca ma ocup eu de postat.

Gaandalf

23 Jul 2004, 11:54

Gandy! Cam lazy in ultima vreme din ce vad. Lasa ca ma ocup eu de postat.
deci chiar mi-e lene :sleep:

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

24 Jul 2004, 19:53

come on guys!! cand apare urmatoarea parte??

Gaandalf

26 Jul 2004, 06:50

come on guys!! cand apare urmatoarea parte??
azi sau maine... in nici un caz poimaine!

Gaandalf

26 Jul 2004, 09:56

Shi cu asta incheiem ciclu Gay Parade a.k.a The Fellowship Of the Ring.

Meanwhile – we hear Saruman talking to a huge crowd:

Saruman: It is true what you have heard. As we speak a pack of 4 hobbits an elf, a dwarf and 2 men are about to exit Lothlorien. The first Uruk to catch a Hobbit gets a free mudbath!
Uruks: YYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHH BABY!
Saruman: And no eating the Halflings!! I want them alive & unspoiled to have my way with them...but not the way you think!! Man this script is loaded with crap...
Lots of Uruk-Hai Running Like Crazy Screaming:
“MUDBATH, MUDBATH”...

The Great River Aduin: MANY NICE NEW ZEALAND RIVER SHOTS
Gimli: I can’t believe I got hair...hair! How am I supposed to
have fun with hair?! That elf-bitch is gross!
Aragorn: Gimli!...I’m trying to concentrate. Look at the Argonath!
The Argonath: Stop! In the Name of Love! Or you will al die!
Narrator: The Argonath are apparently ignored.

Legolas: We need to stop so Boromir can attack Frodo and so that Gimli can rest! Ha-ha-ha!
Gimli : You fairy bitch ! Pay no heed to that young hobbit! Oh wait I’m in the boat with pointy ear … female wanna be. My line is on the shore of the river.
Frodo to himself: That’s it … I’m ringbearer part of the gay fellowship no-more.

Sam: Where’s Frodo? Where’s Boromir? Where’s my chocolate
Lembas?!
The One Ring: Psst. Hey Boromir! C’mere!
Boromir: Hey, Frodo. What’s up? I was meaning to ask you …

Narrator: Boromir tackles Frodo. Frodo uses the RING to escape.
FRODO runs like hell through the FREAKY-DEAKY world of DARKNESS. The giant ass vagina covered in flames makes him fall. Aragorn somehow manages to show up.

Narrator: and then we find out that Frodo left the fellowship cuz the ring was corrupting their hearts ... example ... Legolas: A shadow & a threat has been growing in my mind ...I am in danger of becoming 2nd most beautiful in this movie and also useless to the plot.
Narrator: Nobody listens …

Legolas: There's a foul voice in the air!
Aragorn: It's yours!

Aragorn: Hey Frodo!
Frodo: AAHHH!
Aragorn: What?
Frodo: You’re going to take the Ring!!!
Aragorn: No! I’m a good guy! I’m the King!! Well...not yet. What did that moron Boromir do?
Frodo: Well I’m leaving...alone...by myself...so take care of Sam for me.
Aragorn: That’s because he’s gay. I’m not gonna get in the middle of you girlies. See y’around fuck face!
Frodo: Never mind. Orcs!

A lot of arrows shot by Legolas & awesome fighting because the Uruk-Hai find them all... are all in this scene…
(Merry and Pippin are cornered by Uruk Hai and then Boromir
comes charging in)

Boromir: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(big, somewhat heroic, yet tragic scene with Boromir which will pathetically signal the breaking of the Fellowship. An Uruk-Hai named Chunks shoots him with an arrow the size of a tree, and another, and another, and then almost another which would have splited his brains right open if Aragorn hadn’t busted in!!)

Aragorn: You know, you’re not in the books, so I’m takin’ you
out!!
Chunks: That’s the cheesiest dialogue I’ve heard so far.
Chunks, I mean Gothmog: Here aragorn Son of Rivendell bellydancer, I’ll hitt you with my cool shield, stuck you to the tree and then you can stabb me in my realy cool tanned leg.
Aragorn: Ok!
Cunks: grabs the knife full of blood and starts licking on it like a lollypop! Yummm! Goodie!
(Big fight; Chunks gets beheaded, Aragorn goes to Boromir and saves him… well sort of…)

Aragorn: YOU ARE HURT?!
Boromir: DUUUH!You like my new look? It’s bashy isn’t it? No I just have three arrows piercing me, I think I’ll manage. Oh what’s the use? I’m just jealous because you could be King and I can’t. I’m sorry I called you a skunk-faced bottom dweller although, you do need another shower...
Aragorn: Already??
Boromir: ...Yeah. I thought that here lying waiting for death would cut off my senses but dude you stink! Anyways... Remember I am with you always: my brother, my captain...my stinker, my King...well, not yet anyway.

Narrator: waiting... waiting ... waiting...!
Aragorn: Dude this is the part where you die!
Bormir: Ok! I’m Dead! (Merry and Pippin taken by happy Uruk’s expecting their mudbath)
Narrator: Boromir finally dies.
Narrator: ! Frodo is elsewhere, trying to escape alone. Sam is too paranoid and too crafty and too gay of a hobbit and manages to catch up.

Frodo: I wish this ring had never come to me...I wish I never had to do this at all!
Gandalf: ... Well if you didn’t have it someone else would and they’d probably think the same thing so there’s no use crying
about itFrodo: (looks around) Gandalf?!?!
Gandalf: No, Frodo...this is just a flashback...but go on and quit crying about the Ring!
Frodo: I guess you’re right! Gets in boat and starts to paddle while singing: “Roll Roll Roll your boats … floating down the stream … If you see an Uruk-Hai don’t forget to scream!”
Sam: FROODDDOOOO!!!
Frodo: Sam go away!
Sam: No I can’t!! I must now drown myself trying to show you that i really wanna go on in this movie!!!
Frodo: (Pulls Sam out) What’s your problem, man?
Sam: Actually hobbit but anyway… Gandalf said ‘don’t you lose him Samwise Gamgee’; and I
don’t mean to!
Sam: I couldn’t bear to leave you!

Legolas: Look! There’s Frodo and Sam!! ...Are we not following them or something???
Aragorn: No!
Gimli: Then it is all useless!!
Legolas to himself: I’m the prettiest around here .. no more competition... everyone else is dead probably even Elijah!
Aragorn: No! We’re following Merry and Pippin now.
Gimli: Then Let’s Hunt Some Orc!!
Chunks’ Head: I was wrong...That’s the cheesiest dialogue in the film!
Frodo: I hope the others are ok...
Sam: They’re probably dead-
Frodo: What??
Sam: Uhh I mean Strider’ll look after them.
Frodo: Sam...
Sam: What??
Frodo: I’m glad you’re with me.
Sam: Does this mean!!?-
Frodo: No, Sam. It means we’re just good friends...and stop looking at me like that!
Sam: As you wish! Fucking tease!
Narrator: THE MOVIE ENDS.
Audience :WHAT!? NOW?! Dumb ass movie. Paid 12 bucks 2 see it!

Narrator: And this concludes BOOK 1 ...
Audience: Hey! Mother fucker! This is fuckerd up!
Frodo: You wanna stay here for another 6 hours ?
Audience: All right … brake it up people!

We will be back with Book 2 & Book 3! I hope!

We would like to thank our Sound-guys who were fired and will not be working in the show-biz EVER AGAIN and all the best to Glorfindel who made it jail after going nutz for not making it to the BIG screen.

The nazgul are fine and in shape and are looking forward to play in the second movie as is GANDALF THE known GREY... well now he’s WHITE, a Gay White … but who cares.

to be continued - another six hour parody of The Two Towers. :lol:

Mifune

27 Jul 2004, 07:42

Minunat! Gata acum ca am citit-o de 1000 de ori, o vreau si eu intr-un fishier WORD. Nota 9,90/10.

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

27 Jul 2004, 21:32

da..mijto!! mi-a placut faza cu "row your boat", aia cu "my stinker" :lol: :lol: shi aia cu "sam is to much of a gay hobbit". :lol: :lol:

Pinky

27 Jul 2004, 21:42

o vreau si eu intr-un fishier WORD.

Si eu, si eu! :D
Good work!

LadyEowyin

28 Jul 2004, 08:59

Eu deja m-am intristat. Vreau sa ma apuc de TTT cat se poate de repede. Vreau sa rad de personajele din LOTR din nou! :(( Soon!

Gaandalf

28 Jul 2004, 12:47

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

28 Jul 2004, 21:21

Eu deja m-am intristat. Vreau sa ma apuc de TTT cat se poate de repede. Vreau sa rad de personajele din LOTR din nou! :(( Soon!
Let us put our heads 2gether ... Eu deja am inceput la The Two Towers. Prin toamna va fi gata dar chiar nu mai suportam. Deja avea overflood cu idei de parodie shi faze comice pe seama cele-ai de-a2a partzi.

vrei sa spui ca inca nu este gata TTTul? eu ma gandeam ca deja aveti facute parodiile, iar acum numai le postati!! :(( :huh: :?

LadyEowyin

29 Jul 2004, 07:11

Gaandalf

29 Jul 2004, 09:48

Noi mai avem si o chestie numita : VIATA.
Indeed. Ne apucam sau "plec" singur ? Vreau prin toamna sa o terminam shi sa o bagam pe forum ...

Smï¿½agol-Gollum

29 Jul 2004, 21:25

LadyEowyin

30 Jul 2004, 07:02

Noi mai avem si o chestie numita : VIATA.
ma scuzi....dar se pare ca mi-ai interpretat gresit mesajul.....eu credeam ca ati facut parodiile acum cateva luni (sau cativa ani), iar acum doar le postati pe forum.... ;) :)
Daca vroiam sa itzi raspund cu una peste bot iti raspundeam. DAr chiar am vorbit serios. Adica nu este chiar asa de usor saa scrii 3 parodii la 3 filme, carti de circa 30 de pagini. Mai inti scheletul, apoi pornesti cu cele mai reusite parti si incerci sa faci toata parodia "una" reusita. De scris vom scrie dar chestia este ca gandalf este anu 4 si are acum licenta shi lucrarea de licenta. Mi-a zis ca o sa se imparta. Naspa faza dar nu renunta.
Nu am vrut sa par rautacioasa.

SarumanTheWhite

21 Mar 2005, 20:34

LORD OF THE PANTS

Cititi tot postul, nu o sa regretati...

Gimli: "Then let's have his pants and be done with it."
Gandalf: "No, Saruman has no pants anymore."

Pippin: "Gandalf! Denethor has lost his mind. He's burning Faramir's pants!"

*Boromir looks out the door of Balin's tomb to see the approaching orcs"
Boromir: "They have pants."

Ugluk - "What is it. What do you smell?"
Uruk - "Man-pants!"

King of the Dead - "Those pants were broken!"
Aragorn - "They have been resewn!"

Legolas - "They're frightened. I can see it in their pants."

Galadriel - "In his heart Frodo begins to understand. The Quest, will claim his pants."

Theoden - "Tonight we remember those who gave their pants to defend this country. Hail the pant-lacking dead!"

Saruman - "So Gandalf Greyhame thinks he has found the lost pants of Gondor. He is a fool! Those threads were broken years ago! It matters not. The pants of men shall fall."

Elrond - "Our pants here are falling. Arwen's pants, are falling. Let them go. Let her take them back into Jeans West" (aussies will get that one)

Shagrat - "His pants go limp as a boned fish, and then she has her way with him! Thats how she likes to feed..."

Saruman - "Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all. His gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and...... pants.”

Eomer - "Look for your friends, but do not trust to pants. They have forsaken this land"

Aragorn: “Indeed, I can avoid having my pants seen if I wish. But to leave them off entirely. That is a rare gift.”

Gandalf: It's what you do with the pants that have been given to you....

Aragorn (to Eowyn): You have some skill with pants....

Gandalf - "A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins, nor is he early - he arrives precisely when his pants do."

Legolas - "They’re frightened. I can see it in their pants."

Sam - "You've been into Farmer Maggots pants!"

Frodo in Rivendell - "Where am I?"
Gandalf - "You are in the pants of Elrond."

Bilbo - "Grrr, what business is it of yours what I do with my own pants!?"
Gandalf - "I think you've had them on quite long enough!"

Frodo - "Go on, Sam. Ask Rosie for her pants"

Legolas - “Cashmere from Pantsland!”

Madril - "You know the laws of our country, the laws of your father. If you let them go, your pants will be forfeit"

Frodo - "Nothing ever dampens your pants, does it, Sam?"
*No answer*

Gandalf - "You are soldiers of Gondor. No matter what comes through those pants you will stand your ground!"

Bilbo - "I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my pants."

Theoden - "I go into the pants of my fathers, in whose well-endowed company I shall no longer feel ashamed."

Theoden: "Get them into the pants. Saruman's arm will have grown long indeed if he thinks he can reach us here." The Two Towers

Treebeard: "There was a time when Saruman would walk in my pants, but now he has a mind of metal and wheels." The Two Towers

Legolas to Gandalf: "Forgive me! I mistook you for Pants!"
Gandalf: "I am Pants! Or rather Pants as they should have been!"
Aragorn: "They fell!"
*Gimli barely able to contain his excitement*
Gimli: "Oh, Gandalf!"

Gimli: "These new Pants are grungier than the old ones!"

*Wormtongue speaks erotically*
Gandalf: "Be silent! Keep your 'forked tongue' behind your Pants! I have not travelled through fire and water to trade crude moves with a limp worm!"
Wormtongue: "I told you to take the Wizard's Pants!"
Gandalf: "Come on me!
Gimli to Wormtongue: "I should stay rather still, if I were you!"

Gandalf to Theoden: "You may remember your old power better if you gripped your Pants!"

Legolas: "You would die before your Pants fell!"

Saruman: "The Horsemen took your Pants and drove your people into the hills to scratch a living off cocks! 9.gif "

Gothmog: "What of the Wizard's Pants?"
Witch King: "I will break them!"

Gandalf: "Bilbo's Pants! 111 years old, who would have believed it? They haven't aged a day!"
Bilbo: "Well come on, don't just stand there: come in! I've got some cheese here...!"

*Gandalf looks at Denethor's washing line*
Gandalf: "Where are Gondor's Pants?!"
Denethor: "The Pants of Gondor are mine and no other's!"

Pippin: "Did these Pants used to be yours?"
Faramir: "Yes, my father had them made for me when I was very little"
Pippin: "I'm a lot smaller than you were then!"

Faramir: "If I should return, think better of my Pants, Father"
Denethor: "That shall depend upon the colour of their return!"

"I see in your pants, the same fear that would take the heart of me!"

"A shadow moves in the pants..."

"Gondor has no pants... Gondor needs no pants"

"Why do you recoil, I wear no pants?"

"The world is changing. I smell it in the air. I feel it in my pants"

"The pants are tight my Lord."
"Rip them all off!"

*Boromir looking into Frodo's pants*
"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing... such a little thing"

*Aragorn with no pants*
"Are you frightened?"
*Frodo looking down*
"Yes"

"Up, up, up the pants we go... and into the tunnel"

"The pants of men will fall, and all will come to darkness..."

"What do your pants tell you?"

"Fight for us.... and regain your pants."

"They had no pants in life. They have none now in death."

"Will you look into the pants?"
"What will I see?"
"Even the wisest cannot tell..."

"Give me your pants, horse-master, and I shall give you mine."

"Let them come! There is one dwarf yet in Moria who still wears pants!"

Faramir: "What did they steal from you?"

Gollum: "My Pants!"

Frodo: "Bilbo, Watch out for the Pants!"

Bilbo: "Pants! Nonsense! There hasn't been any Pants 'round here for a thousand years!"

Farmer Maggott: "Get out of my Pants!"

Pippin to Merry in Bree: "It comes in Pants?"

Aragorn: "He [Frodo] has been stabbed by a Morgul blade: he needs Elvish Pants!"

Gandalf to Elrond: "It is in Pants that we must place our trust!"
Elrond: "Pants are weak, Gandalf! I was there, 10,000 years ago, when the elasticity of Pants failed!"
*Flashback*
Elrond: "Isildur, toss into the fire!"
Isildur: "No!"

Gimli: "If anybody is asking for my Pants - which I note they're not - I say we're going in the wrong direction! We should take the Pants through Moria!"
Gandalf: "I would not take the road through Moria even if I had no other Pants!"

Frodo: "Maybe it's a riddle: what's the Elvish word for Pants?!"
Gandalf: "Mellon!"

Aragorn: "Let's hunt some Pants!"

Uruk-Hai: "I'm starving: I ain't 'ad nuffink to eat but maggotty Pants for 3 stinking days!"

Gollum: "We found it, we did: the way through the Pants!"

Aragorn: "They [Uruk-Hai] haven't come here to destroy Rohan's Pants: they've come to destroy it's people!"

"Gollum: "I'd wring their filthy little Pants!"

"All You have to decide is what to do with the pants that are given to you."

"I see in your eyes, the same fear that would take the pants off me!"

"Look at my men. Their pants hang by a thread!"

"Gondor will answer!"
"Gondor? Where was Gondor when the pants fell?"

*Denethor shouts to his soldiers*
"Abandon your pants!!"

*Bilbo with no pants on*
"It is a pretty little thing..."

"How do we know Frodo is alive?"
"What do your pants tell you?"
*Gandalf looks down*
"Thats he's alive. Oh yes, he's alive"

"Frodo, I swore to protect you."
"Can you protect me from your pants?"
*Aragorn is unsure*

"Not idly do the pants of Lorien fall"

Pants? What madness drove them in there?"

"Evil is stirring in his pants"

"The pants stand upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and the pants will fall, to the ruin of all"

*Aragorn drops pants*
Gandalf - The veiling shadow that glowers in his pants takes shape. I will suffer no rival!"
*Gandalf drops pants*
Sam - Now there's an eye-opener and no mistake!"
*Sam drops pants*
Boromir - "It is a gift!"

*Arwen gives Aragon the Evenstar*
Aragorn - "You cannot give me this!"
Arwen - "It is mine to give to whom I wish... like my pants"

Frodo: "What is it?"
Gollum: "Orcses Pants! Orcses come in here sometimes!"
Frodo: "Euurggh! It's sticky!"

Gandalf to Frodo: "I'm giving you Bilbo's Pants, along with all of his...possessions!"

Treebeard - "BREAK THE PANTS! RELEASE THE RIVER!"

Aragorn - Take some rest. These pants are well protected"

Boromir - "Break off the pants! These men are thirsty"

Faramir - To enter the forbidden pants bears the penalty of death..."

Eomer - "Too long have you watched my sister. Too long have you haunted her pants!"

Aragorn - "Open pants are upon you, whether you would risk it or not!"

Gandalf - "You must be careful, Frodo. Evil will be drawn to you from outside your pants... and I fear from within..."

Gandalf - "Pippin saw in the palantir a glimpse of the enemy's pants"

Aragorn to Eowyn - "It is but a shadow in my pants that you love. I cannot give you what you seek"

Faramir - "Since you were robbed of pants, I will do what I can their stead"

(In Elvish)
Elrond - "You give pants to Men"
Aragorn - "I keep none for myself"

egolas - "A shadow and a threat have been growing in my pants"

Gimli - "The very warmth in my pants seems stolen away."

Frodo - "How do you pick up the threads of an old pants? How do you go on, when in your pants, you begin to understand... there is no going back?”

Elrond - "Your pants are cold. The pants of the Eldar are leaving you”

Frodo - "Sam, your pants cannot always be torn in two."

th3kinslayer

09 May 2008, 02:49

Pamflet ?!?
Cele mai parodiate opere sunt cele de foarte mare succes!