Cinemagia Forum - View Single Post

cinemagirl · 30 Apr 2006, 20:55

Dupa o lunga si fierbinte noapte de sex nebun, el observa pe noptiera ei poza unui alt barbat. Incepe sa isi faca griji...
Este sotul tau? intreaba el nervos...
Nu, blegutule, ii raspunde ea, tachinandu-l usor.
Atunci este iubitul tau? continua el putin mai relaxat.
Nu, da’ de unde... ii sopteste ea la ureche.
Este fratele sau tatal tau? intreaba el, sperand sa primeasca un raspuns afirmativ.
Nu, nu, nu raspunde ea.
Pai atunci cine naiba e?“ intreaba el deja iritat.
Sunt eu, inainte de operatie...

A very successful lawyer parks his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too closely and completely rips off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up. Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically that his Lexus, which he had just bought the day before, is now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally calms down a bit, the officer shakes his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he says. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asks the lawyer. The cop replies, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?!"

A housewife took a lover during the day while her husband is
at work. While this takes place she locks her 9-year-old
son in the bedroom closet. One day her husband comes home
while the lover is there so she locks her lover in the same
closet with the boy.

They stand in the gloom for a while, then the boy says,
"Dark in here."

"Yes it is."

"I have a baseball."

"That's nice."

"Wanna buy it?"

"No."

"My dad's out there."

"OK, I'll buy it. How much?"

"$25.00."

"Gee. OK, I'll buy it."

A week later the man is over again. The boy is locked in
the closet again. The father comes home again. The man is
locked in the closet with the boy again. They stand in the
gloom until the boy says: "Dark in Here."

"Yes, it is."

"I have a baseball glove."

"That's nice.

"Wanna buy it?"

Remembering the previous week, the man says, "sure, how much?"

"$75.00."

"Fine."

The following weekend the father says to the boy, Son, go
get your ball and glove and let's play some catch."

"I can't dad. I sold them."

"Really? For how much?"

"$100.00."

"Son you shouldn't rip your friends off like that. We
didn't pay anywhere near that for those items. I'm taking
you to the Priest and I want you to confess to him."

They go to the church to the confessional. The boy goes in
and sits down. The little door opens so the Priest can hear
his confession. "What is your sin, my son?"

"Dark in here."

"Don't start that shit again."

30 Apr 2006, 20:55	#378
cinemagirl Novice Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 5	Dupa o lunga si fierbinte noapte de sex nebun, el observa pe noptiera ei poza unui alt barbat. Incepe sa isi faca griji... Este sotul tau? intreaba el nervos... Nu, blegutule, ii raspunde ea, tachinandu-l usor. Atunci este iubitul tau? continua el putin mai relaxat. Nu, da’ de unde... ii sopteste ea la ureche. Este fratele sau tatal tau? intreaba el, sperand sa primeasca un raspuns afirmativ. Nu, nu, nu raspunde ea. Pai atunci cine naiba e?“ intreaba el deja iritat. Sunt eu, inainte de operatie... A very successful lawyer parks his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too closely and completely rips off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up. Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically that his Lexus, which he had just bought the day before, is now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally calms down a bit, the officer shakes his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he says. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asks the lawyer. The cop replies, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you." "My God!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?!" A housewife took a lover during the day while her husband is at work. While this takes place she locks her 9-year-old son in the bedroom closet. One day her husband comes home while the lover is there so she locks her lover in the same closet with the boy. They stand in the gloom for a while, then the boy says, "Dark in here." "Yes it is." "I have a baseball." "That's nice." "Wanna buy it?" "No." "My dad's out there." "OK, I'll buy it. How much?" "$25.00." "Gee. OK, I'll buy it." A week later the man is over again. The boy is locked in the closet again. The father comes home again. The man is locked in the closet with the boy again. They stand in the gloom until the boy says: "Dark in Here." "Yes, it is." "I have a baseball glove." "That's nice. "Wanna buy it?" Remembering the previous week, the man says, "sure, how much?" "$75.00." "Fine." The following weekend the father says to the boy, Son, go get your ball and glove and let's play some catch." "I can't dad. I sold them." "Really? For how much?" "$100.00." "Son you shouldn't rip your friends off like that. We didn't pay anywhere near that for those items. I'm taking you to the Priest and I want you to confess to him." They go to the church to the confessional. The boy goes in and sits down. The little door opens so the Priest can hear his confession. "What is your sin, my son?" "Dark in here." "Don't start that shit again."