[Sm�agol-Gollum]

and South Park again:

Cartman: Well God, I guess you got me again, didn't you? Yeah, that was a good one, God. Hope it made you laugh, you sick bastard.

[Cartman's favorite "psalm"]
Cartman: It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a woman's separation, this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

Cartman: Respect my authoritah

Pip: Oh Eric, I didn't get an invitation.
Eric Cartman: Hmm, what could I have done with Pip's invitation? Pip's invitation... Pip's invitation... Oh, I remember. I shoved it up my ass. That's right. I wrote it up, put in an envelope, sealed it, and
[bloop]
Eric Cartman: shoved it right up my ass, forever ruining any chance of you coming to my birthday party. Sorry, Pip ol' chap. :lol:

Cartman: Kyle, if I didn't have some guy's hand up my ass, I'd leap across the room and kick you in the nuts.

Cartman: Shut up, you guys. She said she was young and needed the money.
Kyle: Dude, those pictures were taken last month.

Stan: Hey, he's still alive.
[Yelling into hole]
Stan: Kyle. Are you ok?
Kyle: I think so. Is Cartman up there?
Cartman: I'm right here, Kyle.
Kyle: Cartman, you *BEEP*ing hunk of fat r*BEEP* hunk of pig *BEEP*ing ass face.
Cartman: Oh yeah? Oh yeah? Say that to my face, pussy. :lol:

Cartman: Oh and look what Kyle's got me, it's a red Megam... Ants in the Pants, Ants in the Pa... Ants in the Pants
Kyle: It's a game dude, it's really fun
Cartman: You son of a bitch, You were supposed to get me the red Megaman, now I can't make Ultra Mega Megaman, you dirty cheap ass piece of crap
Kyle: They were all out of them dude
Cartman: I hate you, I want you to die

Cartman: Kyle, if you mess this up, so help me God I will rip your balls of with my bare hands! WITH MY BARE HANDS, GODDAMN YOU!

Stan: Hey Wendy, you're a bitch! Token,
[flips him off]
Stan: Right here, buddy.
[Token and Wendy walk off angrily]

Proctologist: [diagnosing Cartman] Wait, what's this?
[a 20-meter-wide satellite dish deploys from Cartman's rectum]
Kyle: Are you okay?
Eric Cartman: Dude. You know that feeling when you take a huge dump? Awesome!
Chef: Well, doctor?
Proctologist: I've never quite seen this before, uh, p - perhaps he just needs some hemmorhoid cream.
[the satellite dish violently withdraws back inside Cartman]
Stan: You all right?
Eric Cartman: You know that feeling when the huge dump you just took shoots back up inside your ass? NO, I'M NOT ALL RIGHT!
Eric Cartman: [Cartman and friends are pretending to be Lord of the Rings characters; they walk by a group of kids playing in a yard] Yes we shall slay the ringworm, for that is the way of the. .
Town Kid: I shall put a magic spell on you!
Town Kid 2: I have blocked your spell wizard!
Kyle Brovslofksi: What are you guys doing?
Town Kid: We're playing Harry Potter!
Eric Cartman: HAAA! FAGS!

Eric Cartman: This is Baghdad? God, what a shithole.
[Jesus looks at him]
Eric Cartman: I mean, oh wow, these poor, unfortunate people.