[Gaandalf]

Shi cu asta incheiem ciclu Gay Parade a.k.a The Fellowship Of the Ring.

Meanwhile – we hear Saruman talking to a huge crowd:

Saruman: It is true what you have heard. As we speak a pack of 4 hobbits an elf, a dwarf and 2 men are about to exit Lothlorien. The first Uruk to catch a Hobbit gets a free mudbath!
Uruks: YYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHH BABY!
Saruman: And no eating the Halflings!! I want them alive & unspoiled to have my way with them...but not the way you think!! Man this script is loaded with crap...
Lots of Uruk-Hai Running Like Crazy Screaming:
“MUDBATH, MUDBATH”...

The Great River Aduin: MANY NICE NEW ZEALAND RIVER SHOTS
Gimli: I can’t believe I got hair...hair! How am I supposed to
have fun with hair?! That elf-bitch is gross!
Aragorn: Gimli!...I’m trying to concentrate. Look at the Argonath!
The Argonath: Stop! In the Name of Love! Or you will al die!
Narrator: The Argonath are apparently ignored.

Legolas: We need to stop so Boromir can attack Frodo and so that Gimli can rest! Ha-ha-ha!
Gimli : You fairy bitch ! Pay no heed to that young hobbit! Oh wait I’m in the boat with pointy ear … female wanna be. My line is on the shore of the river.
Frodo to himself: That’s it … I’m ringbearer part of the gay fellowship no-more.

Sam: Where’s Frodo? Where’s Boromir? Where’s my chocolate
Lembas?!
The One Ring: Psst. Hey Boromir! C’mere!
Boromir: Hey, Frodo. What’s up? I was meaning to ask you …

Narrator: Boromir tackles Frodo. Frodo uses the RING to escape.
FRODO runs like hell through the FREAKY-DEAKY world of DARKNESS. The giant ass vagina covered in flames makes him fall. Aragorn somehow manages to show up.

Narrator: and then we find out that Frodo left the fellowship cuz the ring was corrupting their hearts ... example ... Legolas: A shadow & a threat has been growing in my mind ...I am in danger of becoming 2nd most beautiful in this movie and also useless to the plot.
Narrator: Nobody listens …

Legolas: There's a foul voice in the air!
Aragorn: It's yours!

Aragorn: Hey Frodo!
Frodo: AAHHH!
Aragorn: What?
Frodo: You’re going to take the Ring!!!
Aragorn: No! I’m a good guy! I’m the King!! Well...not yet. What did that moron Boromir do?
Frodo: Well I’m leaving...alone...by myself...so take care of Sam for me.
Aragorn: That’s because he’s gay. I’m not gonna get in the middle of you girlies. See y’around fuck face!
Frodo: Never mind. Orcs!

A lot of arrows shot by Legolas & awesome fighting because the Uruk-Hai find them all... are all in this scene…
(Merry and Pippin are cornered by Uruk Hai and then Boromir
comes charging in)

Boromir: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
(big, somewhat heroic, yet tragic scene with Boromir which will pathetically signal the breaking of the Fellowship. An Uruk-Hai named Chunks shoots him with an arrow the size of a tree, and another, and another, and then almost another which would have splited his brains right open if Aragorn hadn’t busted in!!)

Aragorn: You know, you’re not in the books, so I’m takin’ you
out!!
Chunks: That’s the cheesiest dialogue I’ve heard so far.
Chunks, I mean Gothmog: Here aragorn Son of Rivendell bellydancer, I’ll hitt you with my cool shield, stuck you to the tree and then you can stabb me in my realy cool tanned leg.
Aragorn: Ok!
Cunks: grabs the knife full of blood and starts licking on it like a lollypop! Yummm! Goodie!
(Big fight; Chunks gets beheaded, Aragorn goes to Boromir and saves him… well sort of…)

Aragorn: YOU ARE HURT?!
Boromir: DUUUH!You like my new look? It’s bashy isn’t it? No I just have three arrows piercing me, I think I’ll manage. Oh what’s the use? I’m just jealous because you could be King and I can’t. I’m sorry I called you a skunk-faced bottom dweller although, you do need another shower...
Aragorn: Already??
Boromir: ...Yeah. I thought that here lying waiting for death would cut off my senses but dude you stink! Anyways... Remember I am with you always: my brother, my captain...my stinker, my King...well, not yet anyway.

Narrator: waiting... waiting ... waiting...!
Aragorn: Dude this is the part where you die!
Bormir: Ok! I’m Dead! (Merry and Pippin taken by happy Uruk’s expecting their mudbath)
Narrator: Boromir finally dies.
Narrator: ! Frodo is elsewhere, trying to escape alone. Sam is too paranoid and too crafty and too gay of a hobbit and manages to catch up.

Frodo: I wish this ring had never come to me...I wish I never had to do this at all!
Gandalf: ... Well if you didn’t have it someone else would and they’d probably think the same thing so there’s no use crying
about itFrodo: (looks around) Gandalf?!?!
Gandalf: No, Frodo...this is just a flashback...but go on and quit crying about the Ring!
Frodo: I guess you’re right! Gets in boat and starts to paddle while singing: “Roll Roll Roll your boats … floating down the stream … If you see an Uruk-Hai don’t forget to scream!”
Sam: FROODDDOOOO!!!
Frodo: Sam go away!
Sam: No I can’t!! I must now drown myself trying to show you that i really wanna go on in this movie!!!
Frodo: (Pulls Sam out) What’s your problem, man?
Sam: Actually hobbit but anyway… Gandalf said ‘don’t you lose him Samwise Gamgee’; and I
don’t mean to!
Sam: I couldn’t bear to leave you!

Legolas: Look! There’s Frodo and Sam!! ...Are we not following them or something???
Aragorn: No!
Gimli: Then it is all useless!!
Legolas to himself: I’m the prettiest around here .. no more competition... everyone else is dead probably even Elijah!
Aragorn: No! We’re following Merry and Pippin now.
Gimli: Then Let’s Hunt Some Orc!!
Chunks’ Head: I was wrong...That’s the cheesiest dialogue in the film!
Frodo: I hope the others are ok...
Sam: They’re probably dead-
Frodo: What??
Sam: Uhh I mean Strider’ll look after them.
Frodo: Sam...
Sam: What??
Frodo: I’m glad you’re with me.
Sam: Does this mean!!?-
Frodo: No, Sam. It means we’re just good friends...and stop looking at me like that!
Sam: As you wish! Fucking tease!
Narrator: THE MOVIE ENDS.
Audience :WHAT!? NOW?! Dumb ass movie. Paid 12 bucks 2 see it!

Narrator: And this concludes BOOK 1 ...
Audience: Hey! Mother fucker! This is fuckerd up!
Frodo: You wanna stay here for another 6 hours ?
Audience: All right … brake it up people!

We will be back with Book 2 & Book 3! I hope!

We would like to thank our Sound-guys who were fired and will not be working in the show-biz EVER AGAIN and all the best to Glorfindel who made it jail after going nutz for not making it to the BIG screen.

The nazgul are fine and in shape and are looking forward to play in the second movie as is GANDALF THE known GREY... well now he’s WHITE, a Gay White … but who cares.


to be continued - another six hour parody of The Two Towers. :lol: