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-   -   Bored Of The Rings (https://www.cinemagia.ro/forum/showthread.php?t=84668)

Undomiel 16 Jun 2004 12:33

Originally Posted by Galadriel_queen:

Congratulations to Gaandalf and Lady Eowyn. You made me laugh, and you shouldn't care about what other peole think.


eu zic ca ar trebui sa le pese ce zice lumea.de aia au si bagat-o pe forum.parodia e draguta,dar nu asa se "funny" pe cum credeam.chiar e pacat ca demona nu a bagat-o pe a ei.ii intrecea pe gaandalf si eowyn,dar cum nu exista,ne multumim cu ce avem

Gaandalf 16 Jun 2004 12:36

Originally Posted by Undomiel:

eu zic ca ar trebui sa le pese ce zice lumea.

Pentru ce sa-mi pese ? Eu am scris-o pentru mine shi m-am intrecut pe mine insumi. apuca-te tu dk tot zici k nu este decat funny! Sincer asha vrea sa shtiu shi eu ce fel priveshti tu umorul mai ales cel transpus in cartzile lui Tolkien, shi in acest caz shi filmele Lord Of the Rings.
Pana atunci multzumeshte-te ca ai ce citi ...

ogto 16 Jun 2004 12:44

Daca va intereseaza parodii celebre la LOTR, cautati pe internet jocul gen interactive fiction tot pe numele Bored Of The Rings. Este cam din anul '86 pt. spectrum. Dar e celebru. El este printre primele.

P.S. Stiti ce este genul interactive fiction?

Galadriel_queen 16 Jun 2004 12:46

Normal ca stim. Nu esti singurul care se documenteaza pe aceasta tema.

Galadriel_queen 22 Jun 2004 22:48

Si continuarea? :?

Sm�agol-Gollum 22 Jun 2004 22:53

pai continuarea va aparea, daca nu ma insel, cand va veni gaandalf din bucuresti...

LadyEowyin 23 Jun 2004 09:12

schimbari - in bine din cate observ! frumusel. Mi-a placut gandy!
Continuarea mai spre sfarsitul saptamanii.

M_olecula 23 Jun 2004 17:58

Salu ...vreau sa va spun ca am citit toate partile care le-ati lasat aici si sunt super tari..... FELICITARI Gaandalf si LadyEowYin pentru ca ati facut ceva extrem de interesant su nu numai... sunt super amuzante... cel putin la prima chiar am ras mult .... Tineti-o tot asa !!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

M_olecula 23 Jun 2004 18:02

Iertati-mi greselile dar ....d-abea m-am trezit si.... :sleep:

Sm�agol-Gollum 23 Jun 2004 21:09

te scuzam...dar ce, este de aia nocturna?
ps: welcome to the forum!! :)

M_olecula 24 Jun 2004 00:08

Originally Posted by Sméagol-Gollum:

te scuzam...dar ce, este de aia nocturna?
ps: welcome to the forum!! :)


Nu esti d-aia nocturna , aseara a fost o exceptie ...bine si in alte seri ....in fine. Merci oricum pentru bun venit !!!!!!!!!!!!

M_olecula 24 Jun 2004 00:11

Doamne ...iar am facut greseli ...acum nu mai scuza , neatentia !!!!!!!!!

Gaandalf 24 Jun 2004 06:57

Originally Posted by M_olecula:

Salu ...vreau sa va spun ca am citit toate partile care le-ati lasat aici si sunt super tari..... FELICITARI Gaandalf si LadyEowYin pentru ca ati facut ceva extrem de interesant su nu numai... sunt super amuzante... cel putin la prima chiar am ras mult .... Tineti-o tot asa !!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

10x man! Mai urmeaza o parte dar akuma mi-e asha lene sa o mai citesc, sa mai scriu, sa mai rectific cate ceva. Am alte idei ... O sa postez pana in weekend ...

M_olecula 24 Jun 2004 12:47

Originally Posted by Gaandalf:

10x man! Mai urmeaza o parte dar akuma mi-e asha lene sa o mai citesc, sa mai scriu, sa mai rectific cate ceva. Am alte idei ... O sa postez pana in weekend ...


Daca o postezi pana in weekend e bine.... dar vezi sa nu te cuprinda lenea de tot si uiti de ea ca ar fii mare pacat... ati facut un lucru tare rau !!! Astept postul !!! ;)

Gaandalf 24 Jun 2004 14:12

Originally Posted by M_olecula:

Originally Posted by Gaandalf:

10x man! Mai urmeaza o parte dar akuma mi-e asha lene sa o mai citesc, sa mai scriu, sa mai rectific cate ceva. Am alte idei ... O sa postez pana in weekend ...


Daca o postezi pana in weekend e bine.... dar vezi sa nu te cuprinda lenea de tot si uiti de ea ca ar fii mare pacat... ati facut un lucru tare rau !!! Astept postul !!! ;)

we'll do ...

Gaandalf 28 Jun 2004 15:21

...

(Frodo escapes before Bilbo bores him to death)
Narrator: As they leave various things are being shouted by the elves and other things lurking over there, such as "have a safe trip" and "hope you don't screw up" and "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE", from EYEBROWS!

Frodo: Mordor ? Gandalf which way is it ? Left or right?
Gandalf: Ok! Get this kid away from me. I will fuck him up good! And I ain’t afraid to do it! Punck ass biatch! YOUUUUU are taking this to SERIOUS! Punk somma bitch!

Gandalf: Aragorn! GET HIM OUTTA MY SIGHT!

Along the Misty Mountains...

Aragorn: So does anyone have a clue as to where we're going?
Sam: Mt. Doom?
Aragorn: No I mean what highway we're taking here.
Gimli: Let us go through the Mines of Moria!
Legolas: Let us shut the fuck up!
Gimli: Lembas chewer!
Legolas: Mine Mongrel!
Gimli: Fairy!
Legolas: Gnome!
Gimli: You can hardly tell your women apart from your men!
Legolas: At least our women don't have beards!
Gimli: *GASP* Take that back!
(Legolas sticks his tongue out) – Neah Neah Neah Neah Neah!
Gandalf: Gimli I would not pass through the Mines of Moria; even if you gave me five bucks.
Gimli: Ten bucks says we go anyway! HA! You can't avoid it! It's in the books!
Gandalf: Don't we have any choices?

Narrator: Dude! Gay people always die 1st … quit whining!
Gandalf: Ok!
Narrator: Good! Carry On!
Gandalf: I don’t wanna die!
Gandalf: Let us go up that impossibly snowy mountain!!
Gimli: Oh come on! You know we'll never make it-
Gandalf: I'd rather not!
Gimli: Save everyone some time and cut a good ten minutes out of the movie!
Gandalf: No! We must try.
Gimli: ...How 'bout I just meet ya in the mines?-
Gandalf: NO!
Legolas: Shut up Dwarf! Why don't you just get going and start singing that "Heigh-Ho" song your people like so much?
Gimli: I suppose you don't mind snow, elf, because all your kind are working at the North Pole!
Gandalf: Man this was a bad idea....
Gimli: I told you!
Legolas: Saruman is cursing the mountain!
Frodo: Can't you do something Gandalf?
Gandalf: Not really. White powers cancel out grey in the High Order of Wizards unless there is a 2/3 majority vote. And since I received a fine for Chanting Under the Influence I've had no magical ability whatsoever, which is why I display next to NONE in the film.
Gimli: I want my ten bucks Wizard man!
Gandalf: Oh quit your whining! We'll go to the God Damn mines!
SARUMAN: We need to create the mutant from Small Soldiers and pull down some trees to guarantee the revenge of the Ents.
Narrator: Dude! Cut your nails!

Outside the mines …

Narrator: Gimli starts saying a joke to Legolas, Merry and Pippin…after 30 minutes the joke is not over …Meanwhile Gandalf desperately tries to open the Doors of Durin…

Merry: I sooo wish those Uruk-hai hurry up and catch us!
Legolas : Amen brother! Amen!
Gimli: … and the leprechaun says : I’m mad! Hahahahaha!
Narrator: Guys just laugh! Other wise he’ll be grumpy and won’t act right!
Legolas, Merry & Pippin: hahahahahahahahaha! (clapping their hands)
Narrator: Doors still closed! Bummer!
ARAGORN:(walking over) Do my ears deceive me, or were you telling that leprechaun joke, Gimli?
GIMLI: Why, yes I was.
ARAGORN: Ooh! I love that joke! Will you tell it again?

(Legolas, Merry and Pippin run off screaming. They hit into the door and it opens.)

SAM says goodbye to BILL THE PONY, world’s most underrated character.
Fight with giant squid-looking octopus-type shark- thing; dangerously silly … and lame

Narrator: Fight with giant squid-looking octopus-type shark- thing; dangerously silly … and lame. 4 days to the other side? Crap! AGAIN we must cut this story short!
Turns out, there are LOTS Of DEAD PEOPLE in MORIA…
Boromir: This is not encouraging.

The gay Parade enters Balin’s tomb …
PIPPIN: You said Bilbo told you that Sting was orc-repellant! I don’t think it’s working.
LEGOLAS: (as he expertly finishes off several sock puppets with his knitting needles) Here, let me see that. (Frodo hands him Sting. Legolas glances at it and gives it back to Frodo) Needs new batteries.
FRODO: (sighs) Go figure.

and te be be be continued ...

Gaandalf 28 Jun 2004 15:23

Lady E .. u're up ... I'm reeally tired!

Galadriel_queen 28 Jun 2004 18:32

Inclin sa cred k celelalte au fost mai bune decat ultima parte. :(

Pinky 28 Jun 2004 23:01

Mi-au placut toate! Congrats! :)

M_olecula 29 Jun 2004 01:00

Originally Posted by Galadriel_queen:

Inclin sa cred k celelalte au fost mai bune decat ultima parte. :(


De acord cu tine !!!!!!

LadyEowyin 29 Jun 2004 08:39

Tu o sa o faci si pe urmatoarea ca nu cred ca ajung acasa pana saptamana viitoare.
Originally Posted by Pinky:

Mi-au placut toate! Congrats! :)

:w00t: tank you!

Nightwane 29 Jun 2004 12:28

no no no...ati dat-o PREA in diverse...a mai scazut nivelul de entertainment. try try again...

WraIth 29 Jun 2004 19:57

mie mi-a placut(mai ales gimli shi leg)

Sm�agol-Gollum 29 Jun 2004 21:39

hmm...a fost destul de interesanta.. ;) ...nu prea am ras cu lacrimi, dar a mers!!
keep up the good work! 8)

LadyEowyin 30 Jun 2004 07:18

Originally Posted by WraIth:

mie mi-a placut(mai ales gimli shi leg)

deci gandy a scris toata chestia asta ptr el. Faza cu "leprechaun joke" eu n-am inteles-o dar el a insistat. Are el totul planuit. E calculat. Prea calculat. Stie tot ce vrea si ce nu vrea in parodie.
that's gandy. :P

raptor 01 Jul 2004 21:09

...nu ne place sa fim luati peste picior :lol: ...

Gaandalf 02 Jul 2004 10:30

Originally Posted by raptor:

...nu ne place sa fim luati peste picior :lol: ...

nu te ia nimeni peste picior. Eu am facut-o pentru mine. Este "selfish" din partea mea ca am pus glume pe care le shtiu numai eu. But what can u do ? Nothing. Actually Nothing personal aginst anyone... "we made this for ussss" :D

Gaandalf 02 Jul 2004 11:50

Balin’s Tomb - some dead relative of Gimli

Narrator: Ah! There’s also Gimli crying over his fallen cousin Balin! … fast forward please! Enter the cave troll, (Harry Potter flashbacks :sick: :sick: :sick: ) Frodo is stabbed with a spear. AGAIN.
Narrator: Pippin – who was drunk and barely said one word during this story or movie drops a bucket and wakes up Balrogand gives away their position.

Aragorn: Stupid short-ass ring-bearer has fallen. Our quest is over … let’s go home & rest.
Frodo: Just kidding. I did that slide-blade-between-arm-and-chest trick. Pretty funny, no? NINE PEOPLE utterly kick the asses of dozens of ORCS
Gimli: You are full of surprizes Mr Baggins. Too full! You wanna live to die another day? Stop fucking around.
Narrtor: He’s got Mithril on him … Level 3 Upgrade baby!
Balrog: you woke me up now I will kick your asses.

Narrator: surrounded by dorks the Gay Parade find themselves in a tight situation … how will our heroes get out of this one? Easy … This guy Balrog of Morgoth shows up uninvited (well actually Pippin woke him up) and all the goblins scram …

(They go to the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm. They come up to the Bridge. It is one long twisted piece of bubble gum. Legolas shoots his knitting needles at an orc, who screams, "KOWAAABUNGA!" as he falls. Legolas super-jumps over, grabs the knitting needles, and super-jumps back. He ends up in front. They all run down the stairs. Frodo reaches the cut off stairs, and nearly falls. He swings his arms trying to get his balance, but Gandalf bumps into him and Frodo falls).

GANDALF: Oops...
SAM: He still has the Ring! Mr. Frodo! Wait for me! (jumps)
PIPPIN: No! Sam has the food! Wait up Sam! (jumps)
MERRY: I'm coming too! (jumps)
GANDALF: Better go keep an eye on those Hobbits. Meet you at the bridge! (jumps)
ARAGORN: Oh... okay. Um... now what?
GIMLI: When you are unsure of what to do, it always helps to tell a joke. Lets see... oh! How 'bout this one! There is this leprechaun-
LEGOLAS: (sticks out his eyes) Gimli! You'd better stay with Gandalf. He’s too far behind (pushes Gimli)
GIMLI: (as he falls) ... and he walks into a bar, he goes up to the bartender and says...
BOROMIR: Ah, much better. To the bridge ?
ARAGORN: Race you there!

(Aragorn, Legolas, and Boromir are nearly at the Bridge, when all of the sudden, the hobbits, Gandalf, and Gimli fall in front of them)
Legolas to himself: God Damn it! I am sooo pretty!
Aragorn: Alright!
Gandalf: No...not alright.
Huge flames come from the end of the hall…
Boromir: What is this new devilry?
Gandalf: He's an old demon...I swear he'll be the death of me.
Aragorn: Gandalf – Dude! You gonna die!
Pippin: Bummer!
Boromir: RUUUUUUUUUN!
Aragorn: 1st good idea Boromir!
Gandalf: It’s no use. We will never outrun the Balrog.
Legolas: who says we have to outrun him … we’ll just outrun you … that will suffice!
Balrog overhearing Legolas: ha-ha-ha! Your ass is grass Gandy!
Gandalf: He's a Balrog...and if you all knew half as much as I did about him then we'd know more than half about it than half the population!
Sam: Was that supposed to be funny?
Merry: Wasn't that joke supposed to be at the beginning?
Pippin: Oh! I see! In the hour of his passing Grey Fool is in mood for jokes …
Aragorn: Gandalf, I suggest you keep the jokes to a minimum.
Gandalf: Well I hope you know more about humor than you do about hygiene!
Boromir: Haha!! That was a good one!
Pippin: I don't mean to interrupt anything, but that huge fire monster's coming towards us & you guys are up for stand-up comedy ?
Frodo: So we should run??
Gandalf: Yeah. That would be an option. You could stay here and die along with me …
Aragorn: You wish!
Legolas: Runing? Again? Why? I’m messing up my hair!

Narrator: They run…They get to the bridge; they all cross it except for Gandalf – he’s the one we have to let go in this story…
Gandalf: You should reconsider attempting to cross this bridge!!
Aragorn: Ahh damn! He's forgot his lines...
Gandalf: My name is Gandalf!...I...am a....Wizard!!...and I have a super-bright FLASHLIGHT ATTACHMENT!!
Balrog: RRAAAAARRRR!!
Gandalf: If...you don't...uhh...stop!.... I'll....hurt you!!
Balrog: RRRRAARRR!!
Gandalf: Uhh....HIIYYYAAAAHH!!

Balrog: Look, your lines are "You shall not pass", and all that mumbo jumbo about the secret fire, ok?! And all that whinning … that needs to stop.
Gandalf: Oh yeah, sorry.
Balrog: I can't work with this!! Bad actors, bad visual effects, and the sets are faulty as- WWAAAAHHHH!!!
1 minute of embarassing talk and a bridge collapse later…
<Both Gandalf and Balrog fall.>

Frodo: GGGAAANNNDDAAALLLFF!!!! NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Sam: Oh give it a rest Mr Frodo he comes back in the sequel!
Frodo: Yeah but he actually knew where we were going!!
Legolas: Good point.
<Everybody stares for a few seconds at Gandalf literally waving everyone. They finally realize that they stopped for nothing and exit>

to be CONTINUED - BY LADY EOWYIN

Galadriel_queen 02 Jul 2004 21:54

:D Nice. Faza cu Harry Potter flashbacks nu avea ce cauta acolo, dar... tu esti autorul...

M_olecula 03 Jul 2004 03:17

A fost buna partea asta , mai buna ca precedenta... good job guys ;) !!!!

WraIth 03 Jul 2004 20:47

it just keeps getting better and better :)

BeNnY 03 Jul 2004 21:26

Total obiectiv vorbind, nu mi se pare ca are nici un sens chestia asta ce ai scris-o tu mai sus. Parca ati scris asa doar ca sa scrieti... N-are nici un haz, si faza cu HP ce cauta acolo? Chiar n-am inteles. Prima si a 2-a au fost mult mai bune, asta sucks ass big time, fara suparare...

Singura cu haz mi s-a parut ultima parte, aia care incepe cu Frodo: GGGAAANNNDDAAALLLFF!!!! NNOOOOOOOO!!!!!! ... in rest... useless

Sm�agol-Gollum 03 Jul 2004 22:21

da....a fost.......interesanta.
unele faze erau kiar mijto, dar in rest it was a bit laim... :?
faza cu saritul a fost faina, dar faza cu porkar.....what's up with that?? esti dragut sa ne explici shi noua?...
sper ca urmatoarea sa fie shi mai buna...keep up the good work. :P :happy:

Ionutz55 03 Jul 2004 22:35

primele 2 au fost mai bune, clar, dar nici ultima nu a fost asa de rea

Riddick 04 Jul 2004 18:18

am stat o ora pana am citit tot.acum sincer,parerea mea.e bunicel,se putea mai bine,e destul de deranjant ca e scris in engleza.intradevar unele faze cad mai bine in engleza,dar devine obositor la un moment dat.apoi e faza cu "Bored of the Rings",de care spune emanuel si demona.sincer sper ca sunt creatii proprii ale gaandalf si ladyeowyn or something.adica sidaca nu sunt...in fine.cred ca ati facut curiosi pe multi asa ca ar fi frumos sa continuati.cel putin eu astept si restul...

Gaandalf 05 Jul 2004 11:33

1 - HP flashbacks - sunt de la narrator - as in Moi,Je,Me, Eu, Io' :lol:
2 - Pt Riddik: este terminata deja numai k ami trebuie cointurata pe ici pe colo ...
3 - In romana sincer shi fara fitze sau bashini in cap - nu ma pricep la umor... Can't do it. Umoprul in engleza s-a dezvoltat la mine incepand cu Lion King (jocul de cuvinte) : "Make mine a cubb sadwich!", Did we order our dinner TO GO ? No! Why ? CUUUUUZ there it goes...." - follows Lil' Simba & Nala running off.
4- Shtiu ca poate nu va intereseaza toaate astea... dar ptr mine Comicul de limbaj este cel mai inteligent. CA nu am reushit o prea mare perfiormantza asta este partea a2a. Nimeni nu reusheshte din 1a. This is my first shot. I think i'll do even better.

P.S. - Sorry guys! Eu dupa ce am citit-o toata - am ras de m-am rupt. Cred k am facut-o pe gustul meu. That's it!

More parts will be "cuuuming"! :lol:

BeNnY 05 Jul 2004 12:29

Originally Posted by Gaandalf:

1 - HP flashbacks - sunt de la narrator - as in Moi,Je,Me, Eu, Io' :lol:



Atunci daca tot ai facut chestii doar ca sa te satisfaci asa pe tine ar trebui sa o tii la tine in PC. Eu nu fac poze de familie si le pun pe forum, nu? E ca si cum eu as scrie ceva si asa fara nici un pic de jena scriu ca personajul se gandea "ba bagamias pula-n LOTR ce cacat", nu? Care e rostul. Daca scrii niste chestii fara noima atunci pastreaza-le pentru tine. Evident au o valoare emotionala pentru tine pentru ca tu le-ai scris dar... cam atat! Pentru noi nu.

Originally Posted by Gandalf:

P.S. - Sorry guys! Eu dupa ce am citit-o toata - am ras de m-am rupt. Cred k am facut-o pe gustul meu. That's it!


La fel. Total aiurea, trebuia s-o tii pentru tine atunci

Gaandalf 05 Jul 2004 12:42

Benny dk nu shtii - te rog -silence... Nu am pus-o de capul meu. Alte persoane la kre nici nu te gandeshti m-au convins.
bagatzi-ai ... este o parere, poze de familie este personal - nu au nici o treaba cu filmul...this does sooo end of story.

Galadriel_queen 05 Jul 2004 15:23

Benny, autorul are dreptul sa scrie ce vrea in propria creatie, si nu ar trebui sa isi schimbe lucrurile spuse doar pt k asa vrea unul sau doi. Mie chiar imi place, desi imi raneste putin orgoliul de fan HP. :D

BeNnY 05 Jul 2004 19:44

La fel de mult putea sa fie Spider-man flash-backs ca tot asa reactionam... Nu-si are nici un rost.

Sm�agol-Gollum 06 Jul 2004 21:43

Originally Posted by Gaandalf:

1 - HP flashbacks - sunt de la narrator - as in Moi,Je,Me, Eu, Io' :lol:
2 - Pt Riddik: este terminata deja numai k ami trebuie cointurata pe ici pe colo ...
3 - In romana sincer shi fara fitze sau bashini in cap - nu ma pricep la umor... Can't do it. Umoprul in engleza s-a dezvoltat la mine incepand cu Lion King (jocul de cuvinte) : "Make mine a cubb sadwich!", Did we order our dinner TO GO ? No! Why ? CUUUUUZ there it goes...." - follows Lil' Simba & Nala running off.
4- Shtiu ca poate nu va intereseaza toaate astea... dar ptr mine Comicul de limbaj este cel mai inteligent. CA nu am reushit o prea mare perfiormantza asta este partea a2a. Nimeni nu reusheshte din 1a. This is my first shot. I think i'll do even better.

P.S. - Sorry guys! Eu dupa ce am citit-o toata - am ras de m-am rupt. Cred k am facut-o pe gustul meu. That's it!

More parts will be "cuuuming"! :lol:


am dreptate ca unele faze au fost imprumutate, sau nu? ;)

Gaandalf 07 Jul 2004 09:10

Originally Posted by Sméagol-Gollum:

Originally Posted by Gaandalf:

1 - HP flashbacks - sunt de la narrator - as in Moi,Je,Me, Eu, Io' :lol:
2 - Pt Riddik: este terminata deja numai k ami trebuie cointurata pe ici pe colo ...
3 - In romana sincer shi fara fitze sau bashini in cap - nu ma pricep la umor... Can't do it. Umoprul in engleza s-a dezvoltat la mine incepand cu Lion King (jocul de cuvinte) : "Make mine a cubb sadwich!", Did we order our dinner TO GO ? No! Why ? CUUUUUZ there it goes...." - follows Lil' Simba & Nala running off.
4- Shtiu ca poate nu va intereseaza toaate astea... dar ptr mine Comicul de limbaj este cel mai inteligent. CA nu am reushit o prea mare perfiormantza asta este partea a2a. Nimeni nu reusheshte din 1a. This is my first shot. I think i'll do even better.

P.S. - Sorry guys! Eu dupa ce am citit-o toata - am ras de m-am rupt. Cred k am facut-o pe gustul meu. That's it!

More parts will be "cuuuming"! :lol:


am dreptate ca unele faze au fost imprumutate, sau nu? ;)

hell yeah!
dar am shi mentzionat k am avut foarte multa inspiratzie. Demona a fost prezenta mai peste tot. + chestii pe care le apreciez eu in viatza de zi cu zi - in filme that is... vezi primul post k am scris ...

Gaandalf 12 Jul 2004 14:18

Part 3

Outside Moria... where Legolas still thinks of himself as coolest guy around... ARAGORN and BOROMIR drag FRODO away from making a FOOL of HIMSELF.

All: WAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Boromir: Well, what do we do now?
Aragorn: We go to Lothlorien.
Frodo: Why?
Aragorn: ...Look, I really like those belly dancers, OK? And
they happen to be touring elven-refuges, and Lorien is their
next stop.
Legolas: Gross dude, my sister is one of them!
Aragorn: Ooh ooh ooh!! Is she Latsoleg?
Legolas: -Yeah.
Aragorn: She is HOT!!
Boromir: Mmm mmm...belly dancers- that’s a switch…
Sam: Oh would you all stop with the drooling? We’ve got an
important mission here and Mr. Frodo can’t take it much
longer!!
Aragorn: Sam, I don't know about you...but that is the gayest thing you said in this movie...

Lothlorien:

Gimli: Be careful young hobbits! There is a tale of an evil
elf-witch in these parts. She eats man-flesh!
Aragorn: Like someone else we know.
Sam: Whatever!
Gimli: AHEM!! But not to worry...I got an elf-safety merit
badge when I was a wee Dwarf Scout.
(Elves pop out from everywhere)
Haldir: Pick a boo you fucks you!
Haldir: Your friends are so stupid I could have strangled them
with a cordless phone.
Aragorn: Haldir!! Wassssup nigga’?? Are you touring with the belly dancers too?
Haldir: ...I’ve lived here, you idiot. All my life.
Gimli: I wanna go home!!
Haldir: You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Woods!
Wood. You cannot go back you stupid dwarf!
Pippin: Good job, Aragorn. Now we’re stuck here for the REST
OF OUR LIVES!!!
Aragorn: But hey that means those belly dancers are stuck
too!!
Boromir: Aragorn are you for real? I mean ... who the heck needs to save Middle-Earth ? Let them find themselves other heroes!

Aragorn: And we know that Dwarves are not allowed in this tale-like place,so we are all willing to be blindfolded.
Legolas: What are you talking about Aragorn?
Haldir: Actually we don’t care.
Aragorn: Of course you do! Dwarves haven’t been allowed in
here for like ever!
Haldir: I’m afraid you’re thinking about the books.Let me update you a little bit...You see, this is the movie; all small details from the books are completely disregarded! In fact, we had 217 Dwarves over here the other day for a big Superbowl Party, so there’s no tension here at all! We even have small urinals custom-made for Dwarves!
Aragorn: Whatever! BEEEEELY DANCERS DUDE! Yeah and we have to see Lady Galadriel 1st ...
Haldir: Take you to her i will!
Aragorn (confused – looking around)
Elf captain around there: Too much TV...

Somewhere else in Lorien …

Haldir: Found her I have …
Galadriel: Welcome you to Lothlorien we do and support your
Quest also. Yet extremely pessimistic i am about it and
basically tell everyone they’re gonna die.
Aragorn: sssup with the weird talking ?
Celeborn: Dude! We watched Star Wars last night for 9 hoours straight. Dude it was sooo coool!
Aragorn: Last I checked you had no calble whatsoever.
Celeborn: yeah but we borrowed the Palantir from Saruman and it turns out that it’s cheaper than cable. + the internet is great, Saruman tells me that’s how he found himself a date.
Aragorn: No shit ?
Celeborn: Yeah he tells me he found a brunette called: Grima.
Galadriel: Shut up!! I am talking!! ...We think blah blah blah
blah (while she’s talking she stares everyone down and
basically tells them they’re gonna die) blah blah blah blah
blah! Yada yada yada...Agree do you?
All: Uhh...yes. No??
Celeborn: Show off! It’s always about you.
Galadriel: Guess what Cely ? No “get naked” in the jungle tonight.
Celeborn: Yupiiii! Gonn’ check those belly dancers with the son of Arathorn.

Narrator: Being a very big budget film we have thousands of sets so here we go again … after Aragorn was being forced to shower …

Galadriel: Psst! Frodo!
Frodo: What? (then thinking to himself : „That’s a HUUUGE BITCH!”)
Galadriel: Follow me you will!
Check this thing out! Frodo: Whoa...what is it?
Galadriel: It’s a mirror that you pour water into and it
basically tells you that you’re gonna die!
Frodo: Let me see!
Galadriel: Behold!

(Various shots of things burning and other scenes that make
the audience wonder if that will happen in the future, and it
basically tells Frodo he’s gonna die)
Frodo: Now that was some freaky shit!

And Another Place with lots of trees in Lorien...

Aragorn: Those belly dancers are even better the seventh
time!!
Frodo: Fuck! I missed them again because I was taking a
shower! How were they, Sam?
Sam: I made a promise Mr. Frodo, a promise: Don’t you leave him Sam Wise Gamgee! – and i don’t mean to...I was watching you take a shower... uh! ... just to make sure ... is that ok with you?!!
Frodo: My dear Sam – this is why your part in this tale is not over!

Narrator: yeah! Cuz u 2 are gay!

Galadriel: Since you are leaving, I’ll give you presents!
Aragorn: But that’s not in the cinema version! Just the Special Extended Edition!
Galadriel: Yes but I’m giving them to you anyway.
Galadriel: Sam, you take this seed, and plant it
in the Shire.
Sam: Umm Ma’am, I’m not the kind of person who plants the
seeds, if you follow me...
Galadriel: You mean you’re not a gardener?
Sam: Well I suppose you could say that, I enjoy the flowers, I
just don’t plant the seeds the way you think i do.
Galadriel: I don’t understand?(shows him gift)
Sam: Ohhh! Ha ha! Seed, I get it! That’s a good one!
Galadriel: Meriadoc and Peregrin; You get these knives- to hang Frodo if he gets too annoying!
Merry: Meriadoc and Peregrin?
Pippin: Those are our names in the books...
Merry: Oh yeah.
Galadriel: Frodo, I give you this really bright flashlight that seems of no use right now.
Frodo: Flashlight?? ...I may seem like a dork, but that
doesn’t mean I want flashlight and flowers and ponies!! I want
a sword too!

Galadriel: We ran out of swords, just take what you get and be
happy!... Ahh, dwarf. What do you want from me?
Gimli: You know what I want from you ...
Galadriel: (embarassed)I mean a gift! Yes a gift. What could I
give to you?
Galadriel: How ‘bout some of my hair?
Gimli: That’s gross! – I’ll take it!
Galadriel: And to the entire Fellowship, I give a load of
Lembas!
Sam: Not more Lembas!!
Galadriel: You already have Lembas?
Sam: Yes, from Rivendell.
Galadriel: Oh, well our Lembas is better. Their’s is Lembas
Lite. We have the good fattening Lembas! Plus our flavor is
chocolate.
Sam: Chocolate Lembas!
Aragorn: Sam you’re gay!
Galadriel: Now go! Get the fuck outta hieeeeer!
Celeborn: Elessar! Nice goin’ with those belly dancers last night. Man we were so drunk!
Aragorn(looking behind him): Dude who you talking to ?
Celeborn: You dumb ass!
Aragorn: Me?
Celeborn: Yeah! We got drunk last night and we decided to change your name … into Elessar!
Aragorn: When people get drunk they usually end up with a tatoo. But no I end up with a crappy new nickname. Dumb ass Elves!
Celeborn: Hey! Watch your mouth!
Aragorn: What for?
Celeborn: Cuz …
Aragorn: What kind of name is Celeborn?
Celeborn: Bite my pointy ears elf-wannabe! Now take this dagger and get the fuck off my land! How much of a male elf am I now huh?
Aragorn: Common dude! I like the name… really!
Celeborn: Really? Cool! I didn’t mean what I just said! Naever!
Elessar: Naever – whatever th fuck that means…
Celeborn: Y’all come back you hear! Argy … come check out next season’s bellydancers ok?
Aragorn: It’s ON!

ORTHANC, HOME OF THE OBVIOUSLY EVIL SARUMAN

Saruman: Give ‘em hell in the fourth quarter!

more next week ...

Mifune 12 Jul 2004 16:17

Am ras enorm de mult incat sa am nesimtirea sa iti cer si eu toata parodia intr-un fisier word (daca este posibil). Chiar vreau sa o am acasa toata, nu luata de pe forum.
Voi reveni cand voi avea timp.
Multumesc anticipat.

Mifune 12 Jul 2004 16:27

Ai introdus si cartile sau doar filmele in parodie?

Galadriel_queen 12 Jul 2004 18:15

Really really nice. Imi place. Keep up the good work! :D :D :D :D

Pinky 12 Jul 2004 22:48

Super! Partea asta mi-a placut cel mai mult pana acum. Chiar trebuie sa asteptam pana saptamana viitoare? I won't be able to see it... tocmai peste 2 sapt si ceva ma intorc :((

LadyEowyin 13 Jul 2004 07:04

In 2 saptamani ajung si eu acasa. In sfarsit. Am crezut ca vacantele astea sunt relaxante dar sunt si istovitoare. Am o pofta de citit parodia si de postat pe cinemagia in liniste si pacce de n-aveti idee.

Parodia a mai fost "alterata" din cate observ "in modul bun". Marea provocare se apropie cu The Two Towers.
Multumim ca va place! :w00t:

WraIth 14 Jul 2004 20:44

klumea
super
abia astept sa vad cum iese la TTT :)

Sm�agol-Gollum 14 Jul 2004 21:46

dupa parerea mea partea asta a fost cea mai buna dintre toate!! am crapat de ras la faza cu "wassssup nigga' "!!!
keep up the f***ing good work!!!!!!


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