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everyone has had more sex than me
SUPERB!! asta este flashul de unde este preluat avatarul lui gandalf... :) |
AFI TOP 100 MOVIE QUOTES (la categoria aberatii)... Copiez doar primele 10 pozitii. Restul, aici: http://www.afi.com/tvevents/100years/quotes.aspx
1 Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. GONE WITH THE WIND 1939 2 I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. THE GODFATHER 1972 3 You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. ON THE WATERFRONT 1954 4 Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore. THE WIZARD OF OZ 1939 5 Here's looking at you, kid. CASABLANCA 1942 6 Go ahead, make my day. SUDDEN IMPACT 1983 7 All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up. SUNSET BLVD. 1950 8 May the Force be with you. STAR WARS 1977 9 Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night. ALL ABOUT EVE 1950 10 You talking to me? TAXI DRIVER 1976 |
funny as hell
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mostra
ca sa vedeti pagina inlocuiti stelutele cu ..ce trebuie acolo...-:) si link-ul devine executabil: MERITA !!!
va dau o mostra : Dragnostea din tei Dragostea din tei is the National Anthem of Romania. It is a very silent song. You can not use your hearing sense to feel it. That's because it use very low frequencies which are like the sounds produced by the tectonic shields which spin in the central part of Romania. Not very hard to understand is the fact this song was the first place in Top 10 Singles in Italy, France, Spain, Germany and UK. The band O-Zone was dismantled by KGB, CIA and other forces who didn't want this song to top in Russia and US. The national anthem of Romania is "Dragostea Din Tei" ("The Love from the Lime Tree"). Here is an excerpt: Alo! Salut. Sunt eu, un haiduc. (Hello, it's me, the local Robin Hood.) Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. (And please, my love, welcome happiness.) Alo! Aaaaaaalo! Sunt iarasi eu, Picasso. Ti-am dat bip. Tirr, tirrr.. (Hello! Heeeeeeello! It's me again, Picasso. I gave you a BIP.) Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei, nu ma nu ma iei. Nu ma nu ma nu ma iei. (This is rather stupid, and cannot be translated in English. Only in Arumbabubumba -eschimo language-) |
si inca una
Ciungã
Ciungã is a homemade Romanian construction material made from 2 days chewed bubblegum. It has a very good adherence to objects like tables, floors and of course hair. Romanians have a long and lasting tradition of putting ciungã on the hair, the recipients of such high commendation being a select group amongh the Romanian citizens. To be spoted as having "ciungã-n pãr" (ciunga in the hair in English) is an appreciation of a succesful career. The bearers of such honour are selected from the masses and given the opportunity to change their lives. Ciungã is a homemade romanian construction material made from 2 days chewed bubblegum. It has a very good adherence to objects like tables, floors and of course hair. Romanians have a long and lasting tradition of putting ciungã on the hair, the recipients of such high commendation being a select group amongh the romanian citizens. To be spoted as having "ciungã-n pãr" (ciunga in the hair in english) is an appreciation of a succesful career. The bearers of such honour are selected from the masses and given the opportunity to change their lives. The ciunga is related to glue (prenandez ) and a variety of soap called "Duru care spala curu" as they are both made from the bones of dogs specially trained for this. Theese dogs are set free on the streets to multiply and eat small children, this giving a very good consistency of the ciunga product. The dogs are then collected from the street, after they have produced a dozen other such dogs each, killed in a ritual under the red moonlight. As their bones are being grinded to create the "faina de oase de caine" ( the main ingredient for ciunga ), their meat is used for preparation of face health-care products or the highly popular "salam de sibiu", an edible beating stick. This highly revered race of dogs is called either "vagabonzi" "javre" or "lighioanele dreacu". The ciunga is also edible, after it's use is worn. There is a special ritual to it held in high regard between the romanian people. It has never been fully understood, studying a person performing such rituals being hazardous to your phisical and mental health. What we do know so far is that it must be performed in public and includes chewing with your mouth wide open while emanating a sound known as "plescait". If feeling particulary potent at that time, the person performing the ritual may pull the ciunga out of the mouth by one end, holding the other end with the teeth, then pushing it back in the mouth. This seems to attract the opposite sex. Also, there is a variation to this, called "facutu de baloane" or, as some call it, "clabuci". It basically consists in making an air filled baloon out of the said ciunga and popping it. If properly executed, this maneuvre will cover the person's face with ciunga, and he/she can proceed to peeling it off the skin and ticking it back in the mouth. This has an even more powerfull sensual attraction to it, but only few can manage it. When discarding, the ciunga must be placed somewhere very handy, so other people may enjoy it, a popular spot being the chair. The ciunga goes perfectly with any form of clothing, especially with the "blugi", a fashion statement that has brought many awards at fashion shows. KingOBeer |
Re: si inca una
Originally Posted by silver_boy:
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mostra de proza postmoderna
Catzeii din gradina spalatoresei aveau niste mecle ovale de brontozauri opariti intens.Cand latrau, balanganeau din cozi ca si cum blana lor putreda ar fi fost captusita cu pureci fastonati.Singura solutie ramanea, ca de obicei , matzele...Adica felinele cu boturile lor aspre, rozulii, teshite ca niste robinetzi ...Senectutea cuprindea si caprele.Perechi de cornitze osoase, ascutite, de-un verde acajiu, bolnavicios. Pajistile abia le suportau scarpinarea neinspirata.Avei impresia ca fiecare balon de sapun seamana cu un betziv rotund tarat spre casa de propria lui circularitate. Spre seara, cazacii isi despicau obositzi prizonierii. "Au adus paturile ??? "- intrebase ingrijorat nudistul lovind violent cu cotul barbia nerasa a surferului care plonjase cu intarziere ridicat de val. Tarziu de tot, rechinii se stransera toti ranjind haotic |
asta-i o mo(n)stra de proza proasta
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Da' de asta ce zici ?..ca tot e topicul cu aberatzii
….Era seara .Luna semana cu o minge de ping-pong spoita in bej de un zugrav rahitic .Trotoarele erau lungi, intortochiate si nu trebuia decat sa-ti asterni urechea pe caldaramul grunjos ca sa auzi limpede ecoul toacelor imprastiat de cocote in ultimii 100 de ani . Camionagiu isi scoase mecla pe geamul camionului :-„Nu va suparati- intreba el autostopista cu mecla de cal vietnamez batut cu nuiaua care lectura cu un are sumbru o editie princeps din bacovia -imi putezi spune si mie cum se intoarce un camion ?” Fata crezu ca e parsiflata si nu-i raspunse.Fusese sodomizata, supusa la tot soiul de perversiuni la viata ei dar parsiflata... niciodata.Evident, ar fi putut sa-i raspunda .Sa-i spuna ca nu stie.Sa-l injure de mama,sa-l apostrofeze, sa-i deseneze pe mecla un falus stramb cu creionul chimic,sa-i arate parul stufos de la sub bratz, …dar fata era modesta iar cinismul nu facea parte dintre virtutile ei cardinale . ”V-am intrebat ceva -insista camionagiul-…Iar eu nu v-am raspuns ,replica fata cu un aer plin de greata ..”Si de ce ma rog nu-mi raspundeti ?… Iesita hidos pe fereastra camionului fatza soferului semana cu un dos de supraponderala vestejit in clisme. ..Plus de asta avea si mustatza .”Nu sufar camionagii cu mustatza-obiecta fata si facu brusc un flic-flack pe spate cu dublu tulub . Camionagiul paru mai incurcat decat fusese inainte.Vazuse la viata lui cohorte de autostopiste dar nici una care sa faca un flick flack pe spate cu dublu tulub.Cand era mai tanar intalnise totusi o autostopista rahitica care intr-un acces de furie schitase penibil o roata Dar asta fusese tot... Isi drese stanjenit vocea si dupa un timp spuse scurt cu indefinita amaraciune :”Asta nu e o problema …pot ..(si aici ofta lung) …sa mi-o rad „ Chiar va rog s-o facetzi ,insista fata.-nimic nu se compara cu un obraz proaspat ras ! „Ba sa-mi fie cu iertare domnisoara ,exista ceva totusi care se poate compara cu un obraz proaspat ras” Sprancenele fetei se arcuira brusc .”…Ei bine ..doi obraji proaspetzi rasi ! facu camionagiul si rase brusc ,un ras prelung ,necontrolat si chitzait, ca de de eunuc. Abea intr-un tarziu realiza ridicolu (fusese oare gluma asa de ieftina? ) si tacu stanjenit frematandu-si mainile butucanoase pe covrigul imens al volanului.De la un timp toti colegii ii reprosasera ca nu mai are umor.Incercase tot soiul de terapii, invatase bancuri,si intr-un acces de isterie se apucase chiar de citit... Evident, povestea ar putea continua luptand indarjit impotriva canonului care spune ca orice poveste are un sfarsit.Dar nu pot sa nu ma intreb :daca orice poveste are un sfarsit atunci inseamna ca orice nepoveste e infinita ??? Iar daca orice nepoveste e infinita iar valoarea scriitorului e data de masura in care reuseste sa supravietuiasca timpurilor e de la sine inteles ca e de preferabil (cel putin pe criteriul perenitatii)nepovestea, povestei.Si-atunci inchei povestea asta absurda aici.Oricum , ma durea capu’ si cu autostopista aia nu mai stiam ce sa fac..Un amic mi-a sugerat s-o mai pun barem sa faca spagatul inainte sa inchei povestea, eventual sa-i descriu chilotzeii albi,dunga pubisului si multe alte picanterii care se pot vedea la fetele care fac spagat, chestie-in opinia mea- meschina, pereversa si reprobabila care tradeaza acut superficialitatea cititorului din ziua de azi. ...Plus ca nu suport camionagii. |
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2 more:
tough call - http://www.omfg.ro/img1119722187.htm trademark - http://www.omfg.ro/img1119721051.htm |
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
btw check this out: www.fat-pie.com/love.htm off-topic, si www.fat-pie.com/thechildthatsmeltfunny.htm |
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Originally Posted by Cinemania:
"sa mor io!" - asta e cu capu' ... |
cap, care cap, d'le?!!! are un p.enis in loc de cap si cu ala abereaza :D
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